I’m Getting Botox!!!

It’s for headaches. Sorry, I tried to keep a straight face when I said that. No just kidding….it really is for sheer vanity and nothing more. Now, before you unfollow me, seriously hear me out.

So my sister in law works for a plastic surgery doctor’s office. They have residents come in along with a Physician since it’s a teaching hospital. Under the careful guidance of the Physician, the resident pumps your skin full of botulism while you pray to God that he paid attention during this chapter.

There is 1 downside to getting Botox or Restylane free. Once you look like you’ve had 8 hours of sleep; the invitation isn’t extended again for free injections and for us common folk, we cannot afford the required 3 month injection time. You turn into an addict looking for their next fix. Suddenly your doing the math, checking Groupon and stalking your sister in law.

I loved how it made me look so much that I once approached my cousin who was some big wig at J&J, asking if he could get me vials of the stuff at a discount then I would just “find a doctor” (yes, because I know how this works, right?) to inject it. Not my finest hour.

Another time I had the grand idea to ask one of my previous vendors of eye solution, and also the distributor of Botox, if I could “just buy it wholesale”. My call was not returned.

Last time I got injections free was the Fall of 2012. It stung like a mo’fo but I looked so rested. I didn’t look like cat or a Real Housewife, I just looked rested and maybe even a few years younger.

During the procedure in 2012, I was able to brave it when they were injecting Restylane in my laugh lines but wimped out when they went for my lips to plump them up. Despite hating my nose, skin tone and lack of boobage, I do love my full lips and they were not touching those.

After squeezing my sisters hand to the point she lost feeling, I was done. Yes it hurt but it was so worth it and I CANNOT WAIT TILL FRIDAY!

So tell me, have you ever had Botox or Restylane? Would you do it if it were offered for free? I’m already plotting my next injections in 3 months. Don’t judge me.