It’s a Kid’s Birthday, I’ll Pass….

kids birthday

I’m currently sitting on a hard as a rock bleacher watching my youngest at a gym for a gymnastic party he was invited to for a class mate. The “gym” is in what looks to be a car port with sides and was a 40 minute drive.  This is completely practical considering it’s for a 7-year-old on a Saturday night, in December, when it is pitch black. This wouldn’t be bad if it weren’t Ohio and deer are EVERYWHERE! I had a massive buck (that is a male deer for all my NYC and LA friends) dart out in front of me last week. I have been in a vehicle on 3 separate occasions when where I was hit by a deer.

I sometimes look forward to taking my sons to birthdays because I can bring my laptop and blog. I noticed the birthday boy’s parents were considerably chatty so I made it a point to take the bleacher seat at the very top as a message of “please leave me alone. I do not wish to socialize.”

Not getting this social que, the father is following me up, 5 minutes later for meet and greet time.

‘Oh I’m sorry, it was supposed to end at my name is so-so, nice to meet you.’

“Ok, line up!” Said a teen. I gathered he was the cruise director at this facility. He had bleached his hair white, shaved it on both sides and wore it in a pompadour with a blue tint at the tips. He clearly didn’t want to be there yet he needed someway to pay for his bus ticket to NYC for his non-existent acting career.

Now We All Get to Participate!

The 6 children lined up. Suddenly the birthday boy’s mom stood up. I knew what was coming next. In a helium high voice she turned to all the parents and declared,

“C’mon! Parents can join in too!”

No, no, I don’t want to join. This is my sole alone time that I get to write. I’ve been to gymnastic parties before and they have always been kids only. If it’s not broke, why fix it?

I declined the invite 30 minutes ago to participate and have been feeling like an ass hole ever since. For the past 30 minutes, more parents have got up, taken their shoes off and joined in. I want to scream “STAY WITH ME PARENTS! WE MUST STAY UNITED”. If those kids see any weakness we will all be out there before you know it doing a Bruce Jenner.

Stay tuned…….



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