As I sit here and attempt to update my social media, read comments and think about my next post, my 9-year-old is playing Fortnite with his soccer teammates. If you don’t know what Fortnite is, you’ve clearly been living in a fallout shelter for the past year with 0 communication with the outside world.
Some of the things he is saying is cracking me up and are on par with a drunk’s rant. That being said, as he yells into his headphones, I’m recording this one-sided conversation. It’s absolutely hilarious to me and makes no sense. Here is what I’m hearing…
- I already gave you a mini gun!
- Guys, let’s build a base on top of the tomato head.
- You’ve got to build some tactical triangles.
- Dang it G!
- N, I’ll drop you a med kit. Come down from where you died.
- There you go brother.
- N, can you like throw up a shock wave grenade or something?
- I had 100 health. Oh he has band-aids.
- You shot our base down!
- Bro I love apples. Hold on, I’m comin’ to grab apples.
- Owwch…..you piece of crap!
- Oh dude my foot. I can’t feel it.
- Everybody be DJ Yonder. Put the puppy on!
- Dude! We died in Tomato Town.
- Guys, my mom says hi!
- I got clingers! I got clingers!
- Dude, look at the new smooth moves. That’s pretty sweet.
So do any of you play Fortnite or have kids that do? I get a kick out of watching the characters dance!