Family · Kids · Parenting

Fortnite Humor!

As I sit here and attempt to update my social media, read comments and think about my next post, my 9-year-old is playing Fortnite with his soccer teammates. If you don’t know what Fortnite is, you’ve clearly been living in a fallout shelter for the past year with 0 communication with the outside world.

Some of the things he is saying is cracking me up and are on par with a drunk’s rant. That being said, as he yells into his headphones, I’m recording this one-sided conversation. It’s absolutely hilarious to me and makes no sense. Here is what I’m hearing…

  • I already gave you a mini gun!
  • Guys, let’s build a base on top of the tomato head.
  • You’ve got to build some tactical triangles.
  • Dang it G!
  • N, I’ll drop you a med kit. Come down from where you died.
  • There you go brother.
  • N, can you like throw up a shock wave grenade or something?
  • I had 100 health. Oh he has band-aids.
  • You shot our base down!
  • Bro I love apples. Hold on, I’m comin’ to grab apples.
  • Owwch… piece of crap!
  • Oh dude my foot. I can’t feel it.
  • Everybody be DJ Yonder. Put the puppy on!
  • Dude! We died in Tomato Town.
  • Guys, my mom says hi!
  • I got clingers! I got clingers!
  • Dude, look at the new smooth moves. That’s pretty sweet.

So do any of you play Fortnite or have kids that do? I get a kick out of watching the characters dance!




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6 thoughts on “Fortnite Humor!

  1. My son does and I don’t tend to listen… he can be more… colourful.
    What I don’t like about these games is how they’re trying to fleece parents for money, money, money…

    1. “Colorful” That’s funny. Being that Carter is 9 his version of colorful is “crap” and “dang it”. I’m glad I’m not at the 4 letter words yet.

  2. “Guys my mom says hi” LOL!! Omg that’s cute! I don’t know what fortnight is? I know it’s a video game but that’s all I’ve got. I’ve just started to understand like 53% of mine craft I have no more room in my brain for more video games

    1. Minecraft is so 2016. Lol! Jk!! Yes, it’s a free video game. They make money with the skins (clothing) you can buy. It’s kinda goofy. I’m surprised your kiddos dont play!!

      1. HAHA I’m so behind on the times! I’m not sure if they play or not but I’ve never heard of it. I know their parents are trying to crack down on how much screen time they have. Which is really hard since there are SOOO many screens in that house haha. But I’m not going to bring it up unless they mention it. Don’t want to give them any more ideas/distractions than they already have.

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