Holiday · Ridiculousness

5 Gifts Women Don’t Want for Valentine’s Day

For each holiday, there are a few commercials that are played no matter how old they are. For instance, there are alway 2 commercials that pop up for Christmas. One is the black and white Liz Taylor commercial where she throws her diamond earrings on the table pronouncing, “these have always brought me luck”. The other is the Hershey Kiss commercial of the red and green foil wrapped chocolates, posing as bells and playing We Wish You a Merry Christmas.

Valentine’s Day is no different but the items being promoted in a few of them are ridiculous. 2 items in my list below play their commercials non-stop and they are obnoxious. My husband has never bought me these things nor will he ever unless he wants his man card pulled. I fully recognize that this is my own opinion and 1 person may disagree. That’s fine. In no particular order, here are the worst gifts to give a woman on Valentine’s Day.

Vermont Teddy Bear

I see these commercials every year and my eyes can’t roll back far enough. Are toddlers running this company? Are there actual adults that think a teddy bear is a great gift? The commercials show beautiful women (yes women, not children) hugging a 5′ bear. Now I’m sure this is an amazing gift if you are a furry. Hell, you may ask your beloved to take you right then and there on the play station but for 99.9999% of the population, this is stupid.

Lotions Not Requested

I really can’t think of a more impersonal gift than a basket set of lotions. Really? You are showing the love of your life how much you cherish them by bestowing a Bath and Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion set on them? And don’t be even more cheap and get a generic set that’s called Shower and Body Works Cherry Blossom.

Tacky Jewelry

I wrote a post yesterday about ridiculous items you can find on your local Facebook Selling Wall. If you get a bracelet like this for your girlfriend/wife, she should break-up/divorce you immediately.



An equally bad gift- Pajamagram. While clicking on their site, I made a discovery. Pajamagram is owned by Vermont Teddy Bear Company! So 2 out of 5 gifts listed are from the same company. Anyway, the Pajamagram they market the most features a beautiful model in a pink footed, (yes, footed) onsie pajama. I’m sure when men think Valentine’s Day, they envision their woman covered head to toe. Maybe this is a sexy gift in the Amish sect?


God help you if you give/do nothing for Valentine’s Day. You should go without sex for 2 months for being cheap and/or lazy. I’m not even talking gifts. If money is tight, make her dinner, give her a back massage or surprise her with a clean apartment/house. I’m guessing you don’t live in Buckingham Palace so how long is it going to take you to clean the house 1-2 hours?

So ladies, what did I leave out? What is on par with dog house status, if you receive it as a gift? Are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day?


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23 thoughts on “5 Gifts Women Don’t Want for Valentine’s Day

  1. I’m putting my diet on hold for V-day dinner and we’re getting pizza- the cheesiest, greasiest, best kind of pizza in the world. Maybe with pepperonis in the shape of heart to make it festive. And doughnuts for dessert! It’s the simple pleasures in life. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. And that’s super romantic and wonderful when it’s something you both love! And besides, treat today as Fat Tuesday so you have zero guilt! Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

    1. Candles is on par with Bath and Body Works I’m afraid. It’s like it’s “safe” for them or something. That should have been #6. I’ve never been given random crappy earrings but I could totally see that happening. Unless they are real diamonds, keep walking.

  2. Ok – so I’m going to be that 1 person to disagree with you, but since I love you and you love me, I know you’ll understand.

    When I’m in stores and I see those HUGE teddy bears all I’m thinking is “omg I want one SO BADLY!!!!! But why aren’t there any hippo ones? Why only teddy bears?” but in all reality, like where would I put it? It can stay in the store with me wanting it haha

    And I say I don’t want anything on Valentine’s Day and actually mean it lol although a homemade dinner is always appreciated and super sweet.

    1. Are you secretly a furry? Just kidding. Hey, disagreement is completely allowed here but for $84.99, if you had the space, would you really buy that thing? And you are correct that a homemade dinner is super sweet!

  3. Meh.

    I have somehow missed out on the valentines madness. I liked it when Mr A made me cards when we were dating, but I am not even slightly bothered if he doesn’t get me something for valentines day. We often deliberately don’t go out on valentines day BUT we’ll just have fun dates every other week. We’re not cheapos, it’s just neither of us are into it as a holiday.

    1. You know, that is wonderful! I’m talking about the relationship where they don’t have a mutual understanding like that and does nothing to try. Does that make sense? What I’m trying to describe. You know what “holiday” we used to celebrate and now I can’t even tell you what month it’s in. Sweetest day.

  4. Confession: Husband and I don’t do anything for V-day. Unless there happens to be something one of us really wants around that time… but I can’t bear to go out and watch all the desperate couples who’ve been dating for almost a month with their balloons and giant teddy bears, and I’d really rather have a new video game than flowers.

    We did discuss a 4′ bear this year, but it would be for the dog, who needs more stuffed friends. (She has an active imagination and no sense of proportion, which basically means her life is perfect)

    1. That is so funny about the dog. OMG! I love it! As for you and your husband, completely makes sense. We didn’t do anything yesterday as the boys were dropped off at the airport to visit their grandparents at 4:30 am. We are going to go see 50 Shades of Grey Friday. I hope it’s not a disappointment like the other 2 have been.

  5. I only bought Valentine’s gifts for three people this year. My mom, dad and my new grandson. The rest of the family like to receive but never give so they are getting a life lesson. PS My children are all adults so I am not being mean.

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