I hate cooking and I hate football. So if I told you that I spent 2 solid hours in the kitchen Sunday afternoon, preparing food for the super bowl, you would think I’m bat shit crazy (and perhaps I am). Well here’s the reason: I love my family. Ahhh….let’s get all gooshy and lovie, dovie…..no stop that immediately.
Anyway, I made 2 things that were borderline soul sucking yet definitely delicious and I’m going to share the recipes. Now, out of about 600+ posts, the below 2 recipes count towards the number of recipes I can count on one hand that you will find on Hot Mess Memoir. This is not a cooking blog.
Hot Mess 5-Layer-Dip (seems to serve 5,000, but I could totally be off)
Ingredients
- 1 can of refried beans
- 1 16 oz jar of salsa
- 1 ounce of taco seasoning
- 1 8 oz bar of cream cheese (you can go low-fat but why at this point?)
- 1 container of sour cream (did I mention this will not be a fat-free dip?)
- 1 tomato
- 1 bunch of green onions
- 1 green pepper
- 1 can of sliced black olives (I don’t like olives so I deem this optional)
- Iceberg lettuce (or do what I did and buy it pre-shredded)
- 2 cups of taco cheese
Step 1
Dice the tomato, green pepper, green onions and lettuce. Toss equal parts together in a bowl and set aside.
Step 2
In a small bowl combine the can of refried beans and taco dip. Spread bean concoction (layer 1) around in a 9×12 baking dish or something around that size.
Step 3
In another bowl, combine the sour cream and cream cheese, spread on top of the bean layer (layer 2).
Step 4
Pour salsa over the sour cream/cream cheese layer (layer 3).
Step 5
Pour the tomato, green pepper, green onion and lettuce mixture over the salsa (layer 4).
Step 6
Sprinkle the taco cheese over the veggie layer (layer 5). Garnish with black olives if you can stand them.
The Result?
Philadelphia Cheese Steak (serves 4)
Ingredients
1/2 pound of beef round steak, cut into thin strips
1 green pepper
1 onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup mayo
1 clove of garlic (I always uses the jar of pre-diced garlic, cutting an actual clove of garlic….who does that?)
4 hoagie rolls
8 ounces shredded mozzarella
Step 1
Pre-heat oven to 475 degrees F. In a small bowl, mix the mayo and garlic together. Cover and throw in fridge.
Step 2
Slice up the onion and green pepper. Slice the hoagies if they need them.
Step 3
On medium-high heat, brown the slices of beef. As they cooked, I sliced them into even smaller pieces.
Step 4
Add the onion and green peppers to the beef and cook till the onions and green peppers are soft.
Step 5
Spread the garlic-mayo on the hoagies, top with the beef mixture then the shredded mozzarella.
Step 6
I really can’t tell you how long to toast but check it after 5 minutes and see if everything is melted/brown.
The Result?
Mmmmm both of these look amazing!!!
They were damn good!
This was absolute torture to read!! Everything looks and sounds so good, but I’ve started intermittent fasting and lo and behold, I still have 3 hours before I can eat. 🙁
But seriously, for someone who claims she doesn’t cook, you look like you do a damn good job!
Yes, cooking to me is on par with cleaning the house. I find no joy in it. I agree, all that chopping is soul sucking.