Hot Mess Predictions for 2018


My friend and blogger extrodrainner, Phil Taylor does a predictions post each year and I love reading it. I know many of you subscribe to him already but if you haven’t yet, please check him out! His blog is so funny and so entertaining!


He seems to be having so much fun with his predictions (and he’s kinda nailing it with them) that I want to try it out. It will be cool to be sitting here December 31st 2018 thinking to myself, ‘hmmm… were completely off. Don’t quit your day job.’


For Christmas, my sister bought me an DNA kit. Despite the 1 gallon of spit you place in a vial (ok, that may be an exaggeration but it felt like it. Turns out it’s like a teaspoon of spit but it felt like a gallon), I’ve already done it and sent it away a week ago. I can plan on my results coming back at the end of February. Here is what I predict:

  • Italian 38%
  • Irish 20%
  • German 30%
  • Greek 4%
  • English 6%
  • Sweedish 2%

I am going to die of laughter if I am so far off and it comes in like:

  • American Indian 22%
  • Japanese 5%
  • Russian 33%
  • WTF 2%
  • Brazilian 9%
  • Sudanese 2%
  • Egyptian 2%
  • Polish 25%

And don’t whip out your calculator to see if I added it up correctly. I may not math well but I know how to use a calculator.


The Midwest

We are fucked. Mother Nature was like, “ok, 2017 winter was a nice break, with barely any snow and 0 snow days for your kids. Guess what? Payback is a bitch and from January to March you’ll question if you’re living in an apocolyptic nightmare. Prepare for many a day snowed in with your children.”

The South/ East Coast

I think we are going to see a repeat of this year but this time, one of the hurricanes is going to travel up the New England Coast and hit them harder than Florida. The gulf will get another huge hurricane in July.

The West Coast

There will be an earthquake and I think it’s going to be around 5.2 on the Richter Scale. There won’t be any deaths, just damaged buildings. There will be more of the same with forest fires but that’s because of dumb asses that start them.


There will be a movie created or in the works about Harvey Weinstein. Additionally, we will see a few men come out and say they were sexually assulted by women. I think they will name at least 1 prominent female as the culprit.


I have 0 knowledge of sports. I couldn’t even pretend to make a prediction on my best day. Good luck with that one.


I think blogging will continue to be an amazing past time for many. As always we will have those that start a blog for all of 20 minutes then quit. I think vlogging will continue to increase as the tools to do so become more affordable and readily available. I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see a site pop up that is purely focused on vlogging. Maybe this already exists? I don’t know.


Ok, so those are my first predictions. I hope some come true and some that don’t. What do you predict will happen in the world for 2018?





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