Hurricane Irma Headquarters

Hurricane Irma

So your’s truely has been just like a hurricane headquarters. All day, I’ve been begging my mother and cousin to get out before the hurricane. Despite a mandatory evacuation, my mother was pretty much like…..

This obviously presented issues since her area was under a mandatory evacuation. At one point I text her the following: “they are saying that if you choose to stay, go ahead and write your social security number on your arm because you won’t survive.”

At 3:30 I received a text that my mom and sister decided to leave. I exhaled a HUGE sigh of relief. My uncle, cousin and her family were leaving too as they were under a mandatory evacuation as well. As I would later learn, this was just the stepping stone into the next issue- no hotel/motel anywhere.

So from 7 till now (10:30 PM), I’ve been calling hotels in Orlando, Florida to Savannah, Georgia. When I called a Brunswick, Georgia Fairfield Inn, here is the exchange that took place:

Me: “Ma’am, shows you have availability yet when my uncle called, you said you are sold out.”

Tangeray (this will be her name because I’m pissed with her): “Yes, we are closed.”

A few seconds…with cricket sounds…..

Me: “Closed? What do you mean by that?”

Tangeray: “We are being mandatory evacuated. You’ll have to call 1-800- Marriott,” she said in a deep Southern twang.

Me: “Ok fine, but I need to find a room for my uncle and cousin so what towns would you recommend they try, maybe West?”  I was attempting to talk to her, human to human. I needed help and I was hoping she would help.

Tangeray: “Ma’am, you can call 1-800-Mar….”


I was so pissed she repeated that I call 1-800-Marriott when I was clearly asking for town recommendations that I hang up on her ass. What a bitch. Don’t go through your stupid, douche, speech corporate gave to you. Fuckin’ tell me which town I should direct my uncle to.

After about 30 minutes I didn’t hear anything from my uncle so I sent him the following text:

“I haven’t heard from you so I’m assuming you found a place to stay.”

5 minutes later he responded back that he found safe shelter in Southern Georiga. So to recap, Hot Mess’s mother, sister, cousin and uncle are safe! I’m going to drink Cabernet now as I’m exhausted keeping everyone alive!





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