The Worst Toys On Earth For Boys

After I posted Worst Games On Earth I took a stroll through Word Press Reader to see what my friends were up to. On Bens Bitter Blog, Nerf guns and Nerf bullets came up. This got me thinking about horrible toys and tt reminded me about how much I HATE Nerf bullets. Apparently I was not alone as Bitter Ben deals with it too. Sorry dude.

Nerf Guns

For those of you who don’t have children or have all girls, allow me to give you a quick tutorial on Nerf guns. They are a favorite among boys ages 3 to 12 and can range from a $5.99 ghetto fabulous gun that holds 4 bullets all the way to this monstrosity:

Nerf Rapid Fire Gun- Just $299.99

And what do you need with a gun? Bullets. These f’ing bullets are everywhere. Currently I have 1 in my mulch, 6+ under the fridge, 1 in my purse and the remainder scattered throughout the house. I tried to impose a rule where if I find a bullet laying on the floor, island, etc. that I would throw it away. I was too dead inside to keep up on that rule.

Guns are everywhere. Here is a snapshot of my house right now. Literally, you cannot make this up.

Pokemon Cards

I do not understand these asinine cards. Your supposed to play them? There is so much shit on these cards that I would venture to say understanding a horse betting book would be easier than understanding damages, and healths and blah, blah, blah. Once my youngest C asked that I play Pokemon with him in which I agreed. 5 minutes later, I sat at the table more confused than Sarah Palin on a good day. I just looked at him thinking ‘how can you do this to me? I’m your mother.’ He showed signs of aggitation when I didn’t understand so he attempted to explain the directions again, IN THE EXACT SAME WAY. I had a mini adult meltdown, told him I had to take a #3 and hid in the bathroom for 20 minutes until he saw a shiny object and moved on.

Legos

The Lego Creations We Managed To Keep Together!

I have a love/hate relationship with Legos. Here is my breakdown of the love and the hate:

Love

• Similar to adult coloring, when I’m about to loose my shit, I announce “we should build Legos!”
• Your child feels a sense of pride once they finish their 1.2 million block set of the Death Star.
• Your kid’s brain isn’t dying from playing on a tablet, phone, etc. They are actually creating.

Hate

• When you step on one of those mutha’ f’ing Legos. You didn’t ask for this kind of pain. What did you do to deserve this type of pain only a Lego can inflict?
• Had I used the money I’ve spent on Legos, I could have cured world hunger and bought my own island.
• You spend hours, literally hours on 1 Lego set. Everyone is proud of it. Your bringing neighbors in just to see what you and JR. accomplished only to find it up on cinder blocks like an El Camino in the Bronx a week later. Devastated, you vow quietly to yourself, ‘we will rebuild‘.

So what do your kids play with? What are some of the worst girls toys? Would love to hear!