Hot Mess Hits the Road

soccer practice

Get ready you guys! In less than 24 hours, we will be off to Cincinnati. Home of the Reds, Bengals, WKRP and the finest purveyor of vibrators, Pure Romance.

We are driving there for a huge soccer tournament. P was invited to play with an older team because he’s that good (you have to say it like Will Ferrell in Stepbrothers).

Only stories can come out of this weekend. I theorize this on the basis of several facts:

  • It is to pour all day Saturday and all day Sunday. We have absolutely no shelter.
  • A road trip for a few hours with children is definitely interesting.
  • For an entire weekend, the entire Hampton Inn will be overtaken by prepubescent boys.
  • In addition to the entire Hampton Inn looking more like Lord of the Flys, we are getting connecting rooms with another parent and son.
  • There were about 20 other hotels that could have been selected at the same rate and cooler. Instead, images of the rooms show what look to be a Value City Furniture Showroom.
  • P’s game on Sunday is at 8 but really it’s at 7 since we have the time change that morning.
  • He has 1 uniform and 4 games. You do the math. I get to fight over the 1 to 2 washing machines on site with 100 other soccer moms. Bring it bitches, I’ve got my Tide Pods ready.

So get ready for a fun filled weekend. I’ll take pictures and post them on Twitter.

Good night to all!


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