I Don’t Want to Go to Your Stupid Party! K?

I have been invited to and attended the following home parties at some point over my 21 years of attending parties:

  • Tupperware
  • 39 Gifts
  • Longaberger
  • Mary Kay
  • Scensty
  • Pampered Chef
  • Pure Romance
  • Origami Owl

I don’t even want to know how much I’ve spent at these parties. What made me think of this topic was I received a Facebook message inviting me to a Scentsy party. I am past the point of buying specialty candles anywhere other than Target or Kroger and this invite wasn’t going to be the exception.

The worst part about attending these parties is towards the end when the consultant announces,

“Ok, who wants to host another party so your friend will get not only the free magnet but all debts will be paid off and her children sent to college?”

Suddenly this is the point during the party where everyone seems to be whistling, looking off into the distance, not making eye contact with the consultant or the party host. One guest has jumped up to get more spinach and artichoke dip while another is taking their sweet time in the bathroom. Someone always bites the bullet though and agrees to host another party, thus continuing the vicious cycle.

For shits and giggles I thought I would respond back this evening to another “consultant” that has been sending me Facebook messages for over a month. I’ve made a point to ignore them. She is a Mary Kay consultant I’ve bought a lot from and she clearly wants me to buy more. By the time I finish this article, we will see if she has responded back.

The one party I did enjoy going to was a Tupperware party. You have to hear me out on this, ok? My sister invited me to it. Unlike most Tupperware parties occurring at someone’s house, this was to be held in a swanky part of downtown. I was intrigued.

“She’s the #1 Tupperware consultant.” My sister gushed.

“Great,” I said with about as much enthusiasm as Jeb Bush’s enthusiasm in running for President.

“And she’s a drag queen,” she added.

I spit out my latte.

“Come again?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s her thing. She is completely entertaining and it sounds hilarious. We should totally go.”

All she had to do was put Drag Queen into anything and I’m game.

Tupperware day came and we filed into a smallish room located on the second floor of a business. With about 50 chairs, it was tight, not swanky and not what I expected. All was forgiven once Dee walked in.

Dee was everything I could have asked for and then some. She wore a Texas size blonde wig, daisy dukes, a gingham shirt knotted in the middle with what was probably balled up socks making her boobs. Her act was that she was white trash, from the South and loved to cook (I think that was her thing). Dee had no problem dropping F bombs and using 4 letter words to describe burping the tupperware. Below is a picture we took with Dee. It’s my BFF on the left, me, my sister then Dee. Just kidding. It’s my BFF, me, Dee then my sister:

hot mess tupperware party

BEST TUPPERWARE PARTY EVER!

So how about you? Are you asked all the time to join the cult or go to parties? It drives me insane!

 

 

 

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