As many of you know, my husband and I are kid free till tomorrow night. Our wild shenanigans have involved watching tv on the sofa, eating Chipotle on Valentine’s Day and pretending to forget, how to run the dishwasher…..
“Look at all the pretty buttons!” I exclaim in my best bimbo voice. “I hope this one gets the dishes clean,” I giggle, pressing the proper button.
But I Miss Them
I do miss them and I’m excited to see their happy little faces tomorrow, even if it is an 11 PM flight (Can’t wait to make that trip. At least I have to go to work the next day). They left their rooms an absolute nightmare, complete with unmade beds. I can’t stand getting into a unmade bed so I decided to make their bed for them and tidy up. After doing this, I was disgusted at the trash just left in each room. I can’t express enough to them how they need to remove all trash so we don’t get ants. I would like to list exactly what I found in each room.
The 9-Year-Old
- A blown up Capri Sun. He drinks them then blows air into it to make it look full. Odd, I know.
- The lid to a Pringles container. No Pringles in sight.
- Milkshake from McDonald’s with some of the contents still left. I got them shakes on Tuesday. It’s Saturday and that’s gross.
- A Cheetos bag, wide open that I had to throw away since the contents were probably stale.
- A Happy Valentine’s Day card that originally had a sucker attached to it. Obviously that part of the greeting was gone.
- Plastic bowl. This was probably for the Cheetos and to exercise portion control. He’ll usually use the bedspread as a napkin.
- My husband’s Yeti water bottle.
- White duct tape.
- My iPad.
The 12-Year-Old
- Granola wrapper.
- 4 water bottles, all at different levels.
- 2 extra caps for water bottles.
- An empty Sunkist can.
- 2 wash cloths that were stiffer than a corpse, wedged between the bed and nightstand. Ignorance is bliss and I am going with the idea that he spilt some of his water bottle, used the wash cloths to clean it up then forgot to put them in his hamper. God that’s gross.
For the parents/caretakers out there, what is the craziest thing you have ever found in a child’s room?
Ummmmmmm……that stiff washcloth, we BOTH know why it’s stiff…..he used it after he masturbated, to clean up the “stuff.” Ahhhh….the joys of parenthood with BOYS.
La, la, la, la, la, la…….I can’t hear you……I have my hands over my ears. La, la, la, la, la, la……..
I dread to think what I’d find…
I do not envy either of you ladies.
Ha ha!!!!
Thank you. I always make sure to knock before I go in. I don’t need to deal with that….
Yes, please dread. Just go in with a haz mat suit and you’ll be ok, contingent upon having a strong stomach.
Lol!!!!
I had a step son during my first marriage. I wondered why I could never find any hand cream in the house. I knew I bought a new bottle, again. So, I went looking. I found 7, completely empty bottles of hand cream in his room. I never went back in his room again.
7? 7????? OMG! And here’s the bigger question. Why don’t they hide the evidence? You know, throw away the bottles. Throw the wash cloths in the hamper. Even better…wash the wash cloths himself. Don’t leave that s*** for us to find.
It never seemed to faze him at all. I was super creeped out. I get that it is totally normal…..but keep it to yourself, ugh.
Exactly! Keep it to yourself!!
I found the torso and legs of a doll in one room while cleaning over Christmas? And the torso part had a 6-pack. It was very very strange.
Come again?
I know its hard to imagine lol so I instagram-shared the picture with you
On it!
I feel so sorry for you…
On a side note, I haven’t been in any of my kids’ rooms in years…obviously, I made a good choice.
Yeah, I take what I would like to think, absolute precautions. Now I just breeze right into the 9-year-olds room but I know that is slowly coming to an end.
Awww my two boys are grown and flown, but this post has brought back some great memories 🙂
And probably some laughable memories! Kids are so funny sometimes.
Oh my goodness boys are gross. Why oh why do I want to become a mum!?
For the other million reasons that are wonderful. For the times your son shops for 1 hour in a souvenir shop to find the perfect souvenir for you. And when he proudly unwraps a small, shiny shell that says #1 Mom on it. It’s for those sweet moments. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Awww 🙂 🙂 🙂
It’s so worth it.