I’m at my wit’s end with everything. There, I said it. It’s to the point that my immune system has broken down and I’m sick. I’d go to the doctor but guess what? I don’t have fuckin’ insurance? Why? Because like all the companies I’m about to detail below, they can’t get their shit together. In just five weeks, the following has either broken or become an issue:
Last week of July- The dishwasher broke down.
First week of August- My AC goes out in my car.
Second week of August- Downstairs toilet not only clogs but is now leaking and we can’t use it.
Third week of August- My most favorite appliance in the house and the second love of my life, Mr. Coffee met his maker (no pun intended).
Fourth week of August- T Mobile made a HUGE mistake and withdrawals $1,586.80 from my checking account.
And the icing on the cake while every week brings a new cluster? I’ve been attempting to get health insurance since the first week of July and to this day, we still don’t have it.
Outsourced Customer Service Isn’t Working
We need to have a real come-to-Jesus moment with companies outsourcing their customer service to places like Vietnam and India. IT’S NOT WORKING! IDGAF what anyone says about what I’m about to say. I’m two glasses in and irate as I type this. When they get on the phone and I hear in broken English, “Allo, dis is Jennie, for whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?” I cringe. I cringe because I know I’ll spend a third of my time asking them to repeat themselves, another third explaining my issue in different ways and the other third will be in sheer guilt knowing they’ll go home to a mud hut while they’re listening to my first-world problems.
And I am a very, very sweet person until you’ve caused me not to be. In fact, I will be a fuckin’ doormat to your poor customer service but poke the bear too much and all I have to say is God speed. I can only give you so many chances to make shit right.
The other thing about outsourced customer service is they’re given a script and very, very, limited abilities to fix unique issues. Their hands are tied and I’ve experienced this over the past few weeks. So what do I do? I post my issue on their Facebook page. Why? Because while call centers have been outsourced to third-world countries, company social media teams have become glorified customer service reps, able to get a lot more done than Jennie from Hanoi.
I’ve Never Yelled at So Many People in Customer Service
It’s true. I’ve never yelled at so many people over the phone as I have over the past two weeks. After I yell, I explain to them that it’s not directed to them but this whole process and the company. They’re like 911 operators telling me to calm down and the only reason I don’t hang up on them is I’ll have to start the daunting process over again of pressing one than 2 then waiting for 20 minutes. And below are some highlights of these conversations. I’m getting a ball in my stomach right now just thinking about it.
The only reason I haven’t lost my shit on the insurance agent I’ve used to get health insurance is that she is the recommendation of a dear high school friend. I don’t feel like she’s the reason this process has taken 2 months but I don’t know if she’s been exactly lighting fires. I learned that instead of going to an insurance marketplace, you could save money going through an underwriter when your family is healthy.
What I didn’t realize is this was obviously the insurance company’s first time obtaining medical records. The insurance company uses a third party, Ciox. I don’t know if they prefer carrier pigeon over uploading documents but after weeks of going back and forth, tonight I posted the below on the BBB website for them. Note, Ciox has a 1/5 stars rating with the BBB:
Currently, my family of 4 doesn’t have health insurance. Why? Because this company can’t do the one thing that keeps the lights on: TRANSFER MEDICAL RECORDS FROM POINT A TO POINT B! They couldn’t figure out for weeks how to get medical records from my Oncologist at The Ohio State University. Apparently, this had been Ciox’s first time pulling medical records. Last week, I was told they finally got the 104 pages. Two days ago after hearing nothing, I was told there were some pages missing. “What pages?” I asked the Ciox CSR. She said she didn’t know but that it was just about the medicine I had been taking and that it was not very important but that they needed the pages about my medicine. Baffled, I used my break to drive 30 miles to the hospital, park on the 8th floor of a parking garage, walk .5+ to the office, fill out a form, wait, obtain records, walk .5+ back to my car, pay $3 in a parking fee, drive down 8 floors of a parking garage and 30 miles back home. All because Ciox can’t do their one job.
Typing the words T Mobile makes me shake my head and my heart rate elevates. I’m so pissed at them I can’t even see straight. Back in July, I relinquished my Galaxy Note 10 in one of their stores for my beautiful Galaxy Ultra 22.
Sunday, as I was walking Lulu and willing her to pee or shit, I was checking my statement online. When my balance popped up, I froze in my footsteps and verbally yelled,
“What the hell!”
I was missing money…a lot of money. Now I’m the worst person on Earth to balance a checkbook but I couldn’t have screwed up this bad. I was shaking and whimpering simultaneously as I walked back to my house. After about a 5-minute wait, a CSR answered the phone.
I began screaming at Jennie and Jennie told me to calm down.
Again, I weighed my options of hanging up on her or taking it like a bitch just to achieve my end of getting my money back. In the end, Jennie saw that I did indeed return my phone and sent me on to…what? The next hierarchy of customer service? I don’t know. But Jasmine was next and assured me in 3-5 days I would see $1,586 back in my account. This was Sunday.
T Mobile Pokes the Bear Some More
This evening I received the following text:
Now, surely this had to be spam, right? I mean, after a 57-minute phone call on Sunday, it sounded like everything was squared away and at the latest, I would receive my refund by Friday.
According to this Jennie they had closed my case because I had not responded to their inquiry of additional information.
“BECAUSE YA’LL JUST SENT IT TO ME 15-MINUTES AGO IN A TEXT!!!” I screamed from the front porch. Jennie said she’d open another case and escalate this to her supervisor. This is when I lost my shit and in a voice I didn’t recognize said the following:
“You tell your supervisor that they have till Friday to credit my account $1,586.80 or I’ll be taking legal action. I’m gonna call the police.”
“Ok, ma’am,” Jennie responded cheerfully. “Is there anything else I can assist you with?”
“Just get me my money,” I barked.
The insurance lady called. My husband and sons have been approved for insurance. More than likely I’ll be turned down b/c they literally took into account things like carpal tunnel syndrome and an irregular heartbeat. Both ailments from over a decade ago, neither requiring medication.
My toilet, dishwasher and coffeemaker remain broken. My husband temporarily fixed my car ac.
And I have no words for T-Mobile so I’ll just leave you with a screenshot I just took 10 minutes ago: