Health

Why Going to the Dentist Sucks

Last year I spent trying to find a decent dentist that was covered under my insurance plan. Unfortunately, there was a wide range of about 7 dentists to choose from which included dentists such as Value Dental, Dollar Dental and Meth-teeth No More Dental. I just couldn’t pull the trigger and choose a new dentist despite feeling like I had at least 1 cavity. To my delight, our dental plan changed in December and I was able to go back to our original dentist.

X-Rays

Since it had been over a year, the dental assistant explained she would need to get a “few” x-rays. The “few” x-rays turned into a combined total of 18 x-rays. She began by sticking this horrible contraption in my mouth that I had to somehow balance with my tongue while she took the glamour shot. At one point this medieval torturing device cut the roof of my mouth. And the icing on the cake? The last pic where she almost stuck the damn thing down my throat and I gagged.

‘I almost threw up on you,’ I thought. ‘That would have been awkward girl.’

Polishing

If I go to hell, I will have to have my teeth polished every day, for all of eternity. I think it’s the nasty grit of the polish I hate. My favorite thing about the polish is when they ask me what flavor I would like.

That’s on par with asking if I’d prefer a colonoscopy, pap smear or blood drawn.

“Surprise me,” I said sarcastically, “they are all equally disgusting.”

She looked at me as if I had personally insulted her cooking.

“How about orange creme? I think it’s less gritty,” she responded.

“Do you have bacon flavor?”

“No,” she responded.

“Then orange creme will do.”

The Scraping

Before my desert of orange creme, I needed to have my teeth scraped. Apparently this takes an entirely different professional, as a new tech came in to do this. I guess the first one was not experienced enough in scrapping crud off teeth.

I am confident she scraped out an entire steak dinner, complete with a Caesar salad. She scraped for like 25 minutes. I felt my breath become grosser and grosser until occasionally I wondered if I could hold my breath for the remainder of the procedure as to not offend her. And what was left? Me wearing a blue bib complete with the grime, blood and whatever else she pulled out. I wondered if I should just start drooling at this point given the demeaning bib I was wearing.

The Final Exam

To my surprise I had no additional cavities. The dentist again, scared me about needing a new crown. Considering it’s over $1,000, out-of-pocket, I’m willing to take my chances. In fact, they said long-term, I could possibly lose the tooth. And do you know the first thought that came to my cheap-ass mind?

‘Well the tooth is in the back. No one would really notice it’s gone.’

I also voiced this and instantly regretted it,

“I don’t need that stupid tooth anyway,” I said, slapping my thigh.

“It’s not a stupid tooth and you need it!” She said chuckling.

Next week I take my sons to the dentist and I can only imagine the amount of cavities they will have. They avoid personal hygiene like the plague.

This post is in response to the Daily Prompt: Cavity

 

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13 thoughts on “Why Going to the Dentist Sucks

  1. I loath the dentist. I had many a mouth injury when I was younger (possible post…?) and any time I had to have work done, they gave me whatever numbing agent and it NEVER worked. Of course I found out years later that redheads need more Novocain than the average human. Plus, ever since I went the one time when I was 18 and they told me I had my first, second, third, fourth, AND fifth cavity all at the same time, I don’t really trust them either. Unfortunately/fortunately I haven’t been to the dentist for about 3 years now. I’m scared what they will find once I work up the nerve to go.

    1. Wait, are you being serious about red heads needing more Novocain? Ah man, I think you should go, especially if you have insurance that will pay for the work. Also, you know what I do to make sure I can’t feel anything? I ask for laughing gas….a lot of laughing gas. At that point, I don’t care if they numb my eye ball.

  2. I loved my dentist growing up. I had the most wonderful hygienist but I found out in April that she had left the practice. Even though I had been going there since I was 2 I decided to switch to one closer to me. I just went last week. I love the fresh feeling of a clean mouth haha. But I also am scared of the new crown situation.

    But what is this about your insurance telling you where you can and can’t go to the dentist? Mine just says what it will and wont cover. Like my polishing last week wasn’t covered but whatever man. But the location of the dentist? That’s bananas.

    And I can say that yes – redheads need all the drugs! I’ve just gotten to the point where I’m so fed up with the amount of freezing that I need and the time it takes for it to work so I just don’t get it. For my root canal I needed SO MUCH Novocain. But just for cavities I don’t get any. Higher pain tolerance for the win!

    1. Yes, unfortunately just another drawback to the American health care system. I think it works that your insurance provider neogiates rates with certain dentist and if it’s no deal, then we can’t use that dentist. Correction, we can use that dentist but will have to pay 100% of the cost. It sucks.

      1. Seriously just move to Canada. Just as a bonus, in Ontario now medications for anyone under 25 are now 100% free. C gets a cold? No probs have some free drugs. P has a concussion from soccer? Have a free MRI.

  3. On the NHS we don’t get offered different flavours! I agree the scraping part is awful. I’ve had three ceasareans and two carpel tunnel awake and they were better than going to the dentist, perhaps gastroscopy is nearly as bad…. you can manage without the odd back tooth, but chewing steak is a problem!

      1. NHS- National Health Service in Britain; you have to pay, but a lot less than private and free if you’re pregnant or a nursing mother! But within that we still go searching for a dentist we’re going to like…

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