Over the past week when I actually walked my Chihuahua in lieu of letting her roam free with the mindset ‘if it were meant to be, she’ll come back’, I began to gather inspiration for this post. And the inspiration was tacky as fuck neighbors who really need to ask themselves, ‘is this really a good idea?’.
Now, because I love my new British friends/bloggers, I need to hear from you especially! I need to know if the below disasters are global or just part of “Merica” and WT (that’s chavs for you guys).
Neighbor Faux Pas
Christmas Lights
We still fuckin’ see them! No matter if they are delicate little icicles encompassing the perimeter of your porch, we still fucking see them in July. If you are not prepared to take the decorations down, DON’T PUT THEM UP!
Soccer Sideline Chairs
These are for tailgating, sports or parade watching. These aren’t meant to adorn your front porch. I once saw a porch that added decorative pillows to these chairs and a pretty candle on a little table next to them. Loose the chairs! Adding a decorative pillow does not qualify your porch for Home & Garden magazine.
Extensive Landscaping
You’ve seen these kind. These neighbors add beautiful brick walls, exotic plants from Bangladesh and a fish pond to their front yard. 5 months later, though they still live there, the place looks like a crack house because they refuse to keep up on the landscaping they installed. I treat my landscaping like I do the number of children I have, I don’t sign up for more than I can handle. This is why my front yard is groomed but nothing extra because I know I will let any flowers die.
Ridiculous Lawn Ornaments
We have this neighbor at the front of our development that has 2 lawn ornaments a life-size replica of a turtle which I plan to steal and take pictures with at some point and a 6′ nut cracker. The nut cracker is on a whole other level of crazy. Not only does it tower over you but they place it in the middle of the stairs to get to the front door as if it’s protecting them. How do we know it’s the Christmas season? Mr. and Mrs. Crazy have retired the turtle and placed the nut cracker on the stairs.
Uncle Eddie
After you pass Mr. and Mrs. Crazy’s street, turn right and you come upon an area where when guests come over, they bring their own accommodations. By accommodations, I don’t mean an air mattress. They bring a gigantic RV, complete with pop out sides for space. Maybe that worked in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation but don’t bring it to my neighborhood. These RV’s are then parked from anywhere from a day to a week in the street. You are left weaving in and out, fearful little Rubie Sue is going to run out in front of you.
Trash
If trash comes on Wednesday, don’t put your nasty-ass sofa on the curb because “someone will take it”. That’s not happening. Even the curmudgeons that pick through our trash wouldn’t take that sofa. My favorite is when these people didn’t call the trash company ahead of time to schedule this pick up and after trash day, the damn sofa is still there! This isn’t a college campus. We don’t live on frat row where it’s acceptable to have lazy boys on the porch. Don’t put indoor furniture outdoors.
So those are my primary rants. I have a few others but I’ll leave these be. Now again, I need to hear from you guys what neighbor faux pas you’ve witnessed. This list could be endless I’m sure!
First off, where has your like button disappeared to? I like clicking that button. It makes me happy…
Second, I have some neighbors who don’t pick up after their dogs. I would be fine with it if it were in their yard, but I’m currently in a townhouse so the ‘yard’ is anywhere on the grounds. Said neighbors let their dogs out without a leash (against the rules) and let them crap where ever, including right next to our trash can outside and directly next to my car, to the point I have to tiptoe around landmines just to get in my car… EVERY. DAY. I’ve stepped in shit too many times to count. I’m temped to go out in the middle of the night and pickup each turd and strategically place them around their front door; maybe even on the stoop.
Do you know what my neighbor did when their next door neighbor allowed this to happen? He flung it over their fence back into their yard. I’d put it all in a brown paper bag, place on the porch with an annoyomous note. Hopefully that would give them a hint. Thank you for letting me know my like button isn’t available! Is it when you access my blog via the reader? Or when you go directly on?
I can see it on reader, just not on your post.
I am going to research. Thanks friend!!
You are an ANGEL for calling this out! I finally figured out how to fix it! When you have a sec, can you please check to see you can see it? Thank you!
Looks to be all fixed!
thank you!
Oh yes – I second the “where is the like button”? lol
For me right now, my neighbour faux pas would be them waking up at 630 and then talking in SUCH A LOUD voice that it could raise the dead. And by dead, I mean me. Who didn’t need to get up until around 730-8 this morning. Yes I know you are a PSW who needs to help two ladies in the house get ready. But there is a thing called a quiet voice. It’s the one that isn’t full volume at SIX THIRTY!!!
*cranky T has arrived, and she’s not happy*
Damn! You are cranky! I fixed the like button, can you please make sure you can see it? Listen, you have got to get ear plugs! They have changed my life sleeping with a snoring spouse! Let me demonstrate how well they work: often times he snores so loud, you can hear him from the downstairs. The ear plugs totally block it. You also need to make sure you get the ones with the highest decibel protection and the ones that are petite and not the ones that look like small sponges.
I bought ear plugs and they totally help with me getting to sleep. But i needed to be able to hear my alarm this morning so I made sure to pull them out half way through the night. I’m just exhausted which makes me cranky, and then got some annoying news this morning (I’ll try to FB you that info later. Gotta run off to work in a minute).
Can’t wait to hear! Try to have a good day!!!