For those of you who know what a child is, most of you have seen a kid who refuses to leave a place. This 
could be a candy store, Chucky Cheese or a playground. They begin with a verbal protest and oftentimes it ends in a kicking and dragging situation. There have been times I’ve removed my sons from a store by picking them up while they’re flailing about. This leaves onlookers questioning if they’re witnessing a real-time kidnapping.
I often times think about this scenario when thinking about my approach to aging. In my mind, I’m the child and my youth is my favorite store. Meanwhile, father time has picked me up, thrown me over his shoulder, carrying me out. I’m kicking and screaming while tears flow from my eyes. I envision him apologizing profusely to other shoppers while I scream to just leave me at Youthland.
“But I don’t want to leave Youthland!” I scream as I raise my head to see Youthland growing smaller and smaller as we walk to the parking lot to get into his Oldsmobile.
6 Beauty Tools to Avoid Injections or Plastic Surgery
It dawned on me yesterday that my skincare regime is ridiculous. I’m trying to avoid the vicious cycle of Botox or Restylane. I feel like because these are temporary, surely they can’t be great for a long-term strategy, right? So I decided to try a different approach, one that I feel is between topical lotions and injections or plastic surgery. Are you ready for the ridiculousness of my regime? And before you think I’m being paid for this, I’m not. Let’s get started.
1. Light Therapy Book
1. Light Therapy BookI’ve had this light book for 2 years and I love it. Even if it didn’t do anything for me, the 3 minute treatment time is great for a timeout from the world. Since each treatment is 3 minutes, I usually hold it at the top, then the middle and lastly the lowest part of my face for a total of 9 minutes.
I’ve found my skin to be more even-looking after using the light therapy book for 2 years. I don’t have any deep wrinkles, just small lines. Also, it’s great because it has 3 settings. One setting is for wrinkles, one for acne and one for both wrinkles and zits. That last setting is amazing for when Mother Nature is an ass hole and places a zit on top of a fine line.
The only issue I’ve had is that after 2 years, it doesn’t automatically turn on anymore. After doing a little research, I learned that sometimes the charge builds up in the book and by rubbing an eraser all over the metal parts, it removes the charge.
2. Light Therapy for the Lips
This is one of my newest tools. It’s shaped like a mouth and does essentially what the above item does but on steroids. Im scared about getting those tiny little lines around my mouth and vowed I’d do everything possible to stop them. I use this twice a day for 3 minutes each time.
I feel like the fullness of my lips have returned which is great! Also, I like that out of all the beauty tools, this one is super portable. I can wear it while unloading the dishes or folding laundry. If you’re interested, you can check it out here.
3. NuFACE Trinity
Ok, this was a huge purchase for me! Essentially, the NuFACE Trinity device sends microcurrents through the face to tackle many signs of aging. According to the NuFACE site, here are just a few of the many clinically proven benefits of consistent use:
- Stimulate the recovery of damaged skin.
- Reduce wrinkles and fine lines.
- Firms and tightens.
- My personal favorite: re-educate the muscles.
I use it every single day for about 5-10 minutes at a time. You’re technically only supposed to use it 5 days a week for 5 minutes. Yes, I probably use it too much but it could be worse, I could be over-using injections and surgeries. I could get botox, Restylane and facelifts, thus starting metamorphosis into either a cat or Madonna.
I absolutely love, love, love the results. First, I treat one side of my face and compare and you can see instant results. Many beauty regimens provide results over time. The NuFACE not only offers long-term benefits but instant ones. Even my doctor told me last week that I look like I had just come back from vacation. Given my skin color is on par with a vampire or Powder, she wasn’t referring to a bronze glow but that I looked rested.
4. NuFACE Trinity Effective Lip & Eye Attachment
I asked for this as my Mother’s Day Gift and my husband did not disappoint. The top of the Trinity easily detaches so you can use it interchangeably with 2 other attachments, the Wrinkle Reducer or the Effective Lip & Eye Attachment. The lip and eye attachment is so you can get to those hard-to-reach places of around the mouth and eyes.
This may be my favorite out of all my beauty tools and I’ll tell you why. It’s an instant lift of my eyes. I have VERY hooded eyelids and after using this, I legit can see better. I look awake and I can’t say enough about this attachment. I’m also hopeful that it will fend off those awful tiny lines women get above their lips.
5. Microneedle Roller
While my son decided on which Gatorade to buy at Dollar General, I decided to peruse the beauty aisle a few weeks ago. I found it interesting that the beauty section was next to the tobacco cases, but I wasn’t there to judge, this isn’t my store. If one wants to smoke a cigarette while painting one’s nails, have at it.
I had been researching microneedle rollers and had yet to decide on one. That’s when I saw it and I think it was fate. On a small peg, a little higher than eye level, were two microneedle rollers. Who would have thought Dollar General would have them! But then again, they sell beer and not wine (which irritates me) so who knows their logic. At just $1.99, I was pretty sure these babies were coated with lead paint and would break next week but being the poster child of absolutely no self-control, I bought one.
It doesn’t feel great for those who aren’t familiar with a microneedle roller, but I love the results. If I’m understanding this correctly, rolling it on your face causes extremely small punctures, not visible to the eye. You pair it with a serum and the roller basically makes the serum penetrate your skin better. After using it, I feel like my skin is plumper.
6. High-Frequency Electrotherapy Wand
About a month ago I was at TJ Maxx when I spotted a large box in the beauty aisle. The branding was beyond cool so obviously as a red-blooded American woman, it was my duty to investigate it. I looked for a price tag and there wasn’t one. After flagging down the nearest sales associate, I was stunned at her “method” for generating the price.
“Find a box similar in size,” she demanded of me while her eyes darted over shelves, looking for the same thing.
‘Are you kidding me?’ I thought. Regardless, I complied. My goal was to find a box the same size that cost a nickel.
Her gaze zeroed in on a hairdryer.
‘Please be cheap,’ I thought, following her gaze.
“$19.95,” she declared.
I knew it was worth more but I was NOT going to argue.
“Done!” I blurted.
So there are 2 tools, one for the larger areas of the face and a smaller one for around the eyes. Like the microneedle roller, the electrotherapy allows whatever serum or lotion to work better. It can act as a tool in drainage and I’ve noticed the pink puffiness I normally have below my tear ducts are reduced. It’s also wonderful for killing bacteria and helping acne.
Look, I didn’t name this blog Hot Mess Memoir because I’m organized, practice discipline and never go off the deep end. I know my routine is over the top but many people have their “own over the top”. It could be worse, my “over the top could be Scientology or Crossfit.
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