I took my oldest P to middle school and probably broke 2-4 codes of conduct of a middle school parent. They didn’t seem like faux pas but obviously if you breath the wrong way around a tweener, you have committed treachery.
Faux pas 1- Appearance
I wanted to get a quick shower before taking him so I did. I also threw on my “I’M A LADY WITH THE VOCABULARY OF A WELL EDUCATED SAILOR” shirt. Obviously this would not blend in with the suits, polos and school pride shirts, the other parents were wearing. I also looked as if I had just come from the pool. What my son doesn’t understand is you shouldn’t blow dry your hair until it’s 80% dry. Mine was 5% dry. He looked at me with disgust.
Faux pas 2- PDA
At the bus stop he allows a brief bush at the back of his head that is supposed to be a kiss. I think this is allotted because it’s still dark outside. Obviously the rules are different in the drop off line and I was unaware of this. In the drop off line, he opened up the door. I pulled on his arm to allow me the back of his head. He resisted. It was a bit of a tug of war for 10 seconds. He won.
Faux pas 3- My Response
My heart bruised slightly from no kiss, I did what any self-respecting parent would do. I followed this rejection up with a response, while the car door was still open for all to hear.
“You turd!”
It was out of my mouth before I could stop. He shot me a death look. I then rolled down my window and exclaimed,
“You know I’m just kidding darling!”
Death look #2. Point taken. I’ll shut up now and drive away.
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