My 8-year-old and I were watching television upstairs last night when a commercial came on. He rolled over on his side and said,
“Mommy, Caiden had a very interesting question yesterday and I wanted to know the same thing.”
“Ok,” I asked completely intrigued, knowing it was going to be something adorable.
“What are tampocks?”
“Tamp…..what?” I asked, attempting to buy time.
“Tampocks.” He repeated.
“You mean tampons?”
“Yes. I always see them when I go under the sink to grab a wash cloth and I want to know the same thing.”
‘Oh fuck,’ is really the only thing going through my head. He’s only 8. I still haven’t told my 12-year-old what a tampon is though by now I’m sure it’s been discussed somewhere on the playground. Do I just tell him the truth? Does he need to know? Do I lie? I think I was the one with the biggest problem here. Even if it’s a natural thing, I still struggle with the conversation. I decided to stall a little.
“Well honey. It’s a thing with only girls and women. I can tell you but I have to warn you, it’s kinda’ gross.” Sorry, right or wrong, I didn’t know what to say.
“Gross? Ok, I don’t need to know.”
I exhaled, not realizing I had held my breath. I didn’t want him to be put off about it but I don’t think I was prepared to walk him through the entire reproduction system.
“Just know it’s a mommy device,” I said, instantly regretting my words.
A mommy device? WTF Hot Mess! I made it sound like we are machines and tampons are just a clip on or something. Like those Hello Moto commercials where you can snap on accessories to your phone.
So yeah, he’s going to go to school and tell Caiden that a “tampock” is a mommy device. How would you have handled it? I’m all ears here.
Seeing as I don’t have children, it’s very easy for me to say I would have just told him the truth. He would have heard about vaginas, periods, fallopian tubes, uterui (plural?), the whole nine. After each new subject, there would be more and more questions, and I would answer those too, until he’s satisfied or freak out and stops asking.
You are right. The questions would not stop. In fact, I would have to give a back story as to why periods happen. I think I’m more uncomfortable them then yet I have no problem telling stories to the world about a big pink dildo. Go figure.
Well seeing as I work for the health department, I hear a lot of stories about where kids get their sex education (or lack there of), which results in a lower quality of life. Just sayin’.
Oh my God, don’t tell me that. I’m going to have a 20 page Power Point presenstation prepared for him by the time he gets home from school. In fact, if you have one prepared already, just send it on over. LOL!
As long as you have ‘the talk’ at some point, it’s no big deal. In my state, public school teach the abstinence curriculum and it is very clearly not working by the number of under age pregnancies. Also, my department works closely with Planned Parenthood who offers after school programs where kids are actually asking questions about sex and drugs, so they obviously want to know about these thing from people other than their peers.
My responses to these types of questions are always the same “you need to ask mamma” lol thank goodness I can just bypass all of that unpleasantness. But where I work, it is kind of an open door policy. Both parents work in the medical-ish field and there are 3 daughters so it’s easy to have a conversation about it if needed. With boys I can only imagine it’s a whole different game haha
And I can’t say “go ask your mamma” b/c I am the mamma. I just hope the playground teaches them stuff like this….and hope for the best….kinda……j/k…..maybe…..
LOL I was never given those types of conversations by my parents and I turned out fine (right?) hehe like I didn’t even tell my mom the first time I had my period. I just dealt with it. Thank goodness you don’t have to deal with that with the boys.
OMG! I didn’t either! I went 5 days until I accidentally left the evidence behind a door. It’s just awkward.
Eeeepppp! Poor mini-us!
LMAO. I pray Munch never asks.
Girl, it’s coming! Maybe not in the form of “tampocks” but other awkwardness. The worst is watching tv and suddenly an unexpected adult topic comes on. I just stare straight ahead and avoid all eye contact.
LMAO. Stare straight. Got it!
You are prepared grasshopper!
Lol … couldn’t pass this one up 😉
I’ve actually just had the period talk with my 9 year old and 3 year old granddaughters. My daughter has been really open with the little one, but she says its because her youngest pretty much wouldn’t leave her side for the first 2 1/2 years so has ‘witnessed and learned’ and asked a multitude of questions my daughter thought she should answer. But with her eldest girl she reckons she completely forgot. So it came up the other week and I told her as much as she wanted to know – tampons, uteri, blood, pads, cramps, baby making machinery lol. I framed it up so she knew it was a ‘gift’ not a curse; that that part of her is sacred because she has the ability to carry and bear a child. She nodded and tilted her at me and says: “But I don’t want children. I’ve got other stuff I want to do” … I was like, ‘fair enough darling, but this is going to happen anyway and at least you have the option if you change your mind – either way, this whole thing will start in the next few years and will continue for at least 40 years’ LOL … she was horrified!! She went away to process it and has now accepted it and is prepared and is schooling her friends up on what they’re in for … so far my daughter has one parent ask her what she’s teaching her kids 😉
I say, better to know – both sexes – what it is biological females are in for and why; and that biological males are prepared also and know that this is why a woman is such as amazing creature <3
We are amazing, aren’t we! It is a gift. A gift some women would love. I regret telling him “it’s gross”. If there is one thing I could take back it would have been that. Wow! You must be an amazing grandparent!!! I can’t even imagine having that conversation with my grandparents. She should be horrified about the 40 years of the period b/c it blows!
Hahaha … she was horrified, but she’s embraced (sort of lol) it now, because she knows … she’s one of those ‘likes to know’ kids 🙂
And thank you … I think I’m not your usual grandparent lol.
PS: You could always do a ‘Take 2’ conversation with your boy 😉 That’d be interesting 🙂