The homeowners association (or HOA) has pissed me, along with the majority of the neighbors off. Now, as a few of you recall, we had this sign posted in our neighborhood last year:
But now they’ve taken on a whole new level of petty. I couldn’t understand why 4 of my neighbors were congregating together on the sidewalk Saturday evening, each holding a piece of paper. Then it dawned on me that my youngest said we had a letter from the HOA. I told him to just leave it in the mailbox with the other 50 pieces of mail. Yes, we are those people who don’t religiously get our mail. It’s not like I’m going to have letters from loved ones and pen pals. It’s going to be bills with, oh a side of bills, and if you’re still hungry, we have more bills. So yeah, no thank you.
“Carter, go grab that HOA letter, please. I wanna read it.”
“YAASSS!” He said throwing his hand in the hair and bringing it down in a vertical fist pump. When Carter grows up, he absolutely should work for the FBI, CIA or be a detective. He is the most inquisitive, eavesdropping little boy you’ll ever meet. It’s not unusual while we’re waiting for the bus for him to go through my glove compartment, looking for things. But then again, I was like that growing up too. A golden rule to all children is to look on the highest shelf to find everything adults don’t want you to find. That’s how I found my grandfather’s dentures and my father’s gun.
I opened the letter to find this little ditty:
“Oh hell no!” I said. I know it’s a bit blurry so let me outline it. We are being told we need our house numbers on both sides of the mailbox. We’ve lived here for 16 years and this has NEVER been a thing. We have it on the side facing the street for emergency vehicles and that’s sufficient.
“Get in the car!” I barked to Carter.
“Whhaattt?” He asked confused.
“Get in the car!” I repeated. “We’re gonna see how many houses have these numbers on both sides.”
As we drove around the 7 streets, I had my hand out the window pointing. “They don’t have numbers….they don’t have numbers….they don’t have numbers.”
Roughly I’d say 80% of my neighbors don’t have these numbers on both sides. We have 230 homes in our neighborhood. That means the HOA walked around and photographed 184 mailboxes, uploaded it to a computer and printed off in color then mailed it to all the houses. Are our pea size brains just too small to comprehend what they were talking about? Like, we wouldn’t have been able to figure out which mailbox they were referring to unless we had a colored picture and of both sides of the mailbox?
Then let’s talk about the creepy factor. This isn’t the first time our property has been photographed. They’ve taken pictures of our trash can because we keep it out. I’m not particularly fond of someone taking pictures of any aspect of my property without our permission.
So I have an idea bubbling in my head. I even gave the HOA a heads up on what I’ll be doing. They want numbers? I’ll give them numbers. Here’s what I posted a few days ago:
I got a quote for neon numbers but that was too much at about $275 so I’m going to craft my numbers and they are going to be obnoxious and amazing. Plan on a blog post with the finished product. Lastly, I had to be an ass hole last night on our HOA page when someone posted this:
I posted this:
I think on the other side of the mail box you should have the number mounted on a big up yours finger 😉
LOL! Not tacky enough. My numbers are going to be magically tacky to the point they will regret instituting this rule.
I like your style… I think you car m could make this very garish. I think my finger sends a clear message though ??
It’s going to be magically garish!
You’re going to show us right?
Of course! That’s my weekend project!
Have fun with it! ?
LOL omg! this is insanity! I have never had to deal with anything like this, but from what I see in the movies and on tv, isn’t the HOA just people who live in the neighbourhood? Like elected peeps from your neighbours and then they form together to enforce the rules?
You should use your Cricut and cut out a sign and attach it to the TOP of your mailbox! Then you can see the numbers from either side and you don’t have to worry about the mailbox getting in the way of seeing the numbers and then you only have to have the numbers up once. HAHA!
I didn’t even think about using my Cricut! Duh!!! This is my weekend project. I hope to make it look super tacky and horrible! And yes you are accurate. It is people elected. This is the dumbest, most petty thing ever!
Haha!! Use that baby for EVERYTHING!
I know! I know! Trust me, if it will make my end game all the more obnoxiou then consider it used!
I love when people fight petty with petty! Instead of using hard wire electric, you could use a battery operated fairy light set and shape them into the numbers, but I like your idea of neon fur and camo. Don’t forget the glitter!! Another thought: if you leave your trash can out, maybe spray paint the numbers on that. It’s a bigger surface, so you could make it a lot more visible. 🙂
I’m seriously looking into this fairy light set. Thanks for the tip! I’ve never heard of that. Anyway, glitter would be pretty good too. Maybe I could add sound to my mailbox and it constantly repeats 24/7 “378….378….378….” LOL!
Like a motion sensor that trips audio. If you make it obnoxious enough, you could irritate the hell out of your mail person who could then complain to the HOA!
I’d be like, “I just wanted to ensure all my basis were covered with regard to identifying my house number.”
Another example of why I despise HOAs with a passion…
I don’t often use this language (okay, in real life I do, but not often do I write it…), but I FUCKING HATE HOAs.
And as you know, all vulgar language is acceptable here to so cure away! That being said, can you believe these ass holes? I mean really!?!?
Do HOAs really have the authority to fine you? It sounds like they are just trying to make money off you and your neighbours. Oooor, is there someone at the HOA who also runs a side business making numbers for post boxes?
Yep! They can fine us and thanks to these ass holes, we probably owe $500 alone in fines for our stupid garbage can. I am just in awe of this. I would say that someone on the HOA did have a side business, making numbers but given they had the time to walk around and photograph 184 homes, upload 368 photos and send 184 letters, my guess is they don’t work.
The HOA letter said the letters should be on each side of the mail box, not “on” the mail box. I’d go to the lumber store and get enough lumber to place 6 foot tall numbers on each side of your mail box. Very visible and problem solved.
OMG….wouldn’t that just be an f u? LOL! I am so excited to design my numbers. The neighbors all around me are good natured and they’ll get a kick out of whatever I do. I’ll post pictures once the final product is created!