Craig’s List Missed Connections Part 2

I really can’t get over the ridiculousness of Craig’s List lost connections. Have any of the below people heard of Facebook or Facebook stalking? Or just not being so pathetic? I couldn’t resist doing another one of these and within such a short time these crazies did not disappoint. I hope you enjoy these as much as I do! Tonight’s theme? Shopping trip!

So obviously this is from a male’s perspective. Each other’s bulge? Hit me up if you think it’s you? How many guys out there after reading this is looking down their pants going, “well I guess I’d consider it a bulge?” Next they were wondering what day this happened because they were in a Target last week but can’t remember their ensemble.

Ok so maybe the last part of this is code and if it is, please tell me what it means. If it isn’t code, what made you come up with these random requirements? She has to be a black MILF? Why a MILF? And an age span of 20 years and she has to have a nice pedicure? Is there such a shortage of single black women that you need to plea for a black woman to come into your life.

So if it’s the self-checkout, how much interaction are you having with the self-checkout attendant? And what is she saying that you hear enough of her voice that it can be deemed sexy. I love that Bob here is so entranced with this woman’s voice yet only caught that her name begins with an L. I love that Bob here is like “I do wear a ring, so I get it if you are not interested.” Dumb ass, that means you’re married, not that you have an affinity for accessories.

I’m going to keep this brief here. I don’t know what went down in this locker room but the few times in my life I’ve been in a locker room, my only goal is eyes down, get in, get out. And you wonder if it’s still a big fat fuck fest buddy? I don’t know. What if it is. What’s your end game if someone says it’s the Narnia of gaydom?

I’m trying to not sound like an uptight nerd but the grammar is killing me. These are always so random. There are blonde girls that work at Subway everywhere! This is Ohio for Christ sake. If you were able to have that long of a conversation that you were able to complain about working extra hours, why on Earth did you not get her name or number? And if you want to cross her path again, you know where she works dude! For cryin’ out loud! Just shakin’ my head right now.

Well, this is clearly the making of the 4th installment of 50 Shades of Grey. I just picture a dumpy old lady with a pink cat shirt on. She hasn’t brushed her hair in days and her spandex pant is five sizes too small. Some 21-year-old kid isn’t staring at her ass but trying to find the Kibbles and Bits which happens to be on the other side of her. Only an old lady would call a potential bootie call “cutie”. God, there are so many things wrong with this post.

So how did I do? Did you love them? Have you read the missed connections in your community? There are some major nuggets! I love them so much!