Normally for Halloween we are pretty good about getting the boys costumes about 2 weeks in advance. It’s not obnoxiously early and there is still some selection. This year, we’ve had soccer tournaments every weekend and practice in the evenings. That being said, we went out for a costume (yes, singular, the teen is too “mature” to dress up) 2 days ago and you would have thought it was the apocalypse.
As we walked into Party City, I looked over to see the check out line snaked all the way to the back of the store. Kool-aid moustached toddlers roamed the aisles, yelping while touching everything with their sticky hands. Parents ripped masked out of bags and tried them on sweaty kids while others took costumes out and commanded children to strip to try it on. It was as if curmudgeons in a 20 mile radius convened on this one Party City and we were at ground zero.
I swore we would NEVER wait this long again to find a costume. If you are in a similar situation, I don’t wish Party City on ANYONE so I’ve put together 4 costumes that are quick and under $10.
Jake from State Farm
- Red polo
- Khaki pants
- A fake phone headset
- A HELLO MY NAME IS JAKE badge
This costume actually won my son the costume contest.
- Any shirt and pant
- Nerdy glasses or any glasses
- Safety pins
Place all the smarties all over your pants and suddenly, you’re a smartie pants!!!
I’m suggesting this because I think this will be my costume and I’m going as Angie Oakley.
- Cowboy hat– if you don’t know anyone that you can borrow from, here’s one for $1.
- Fake holster with fake guns. I’ve seen these at the dollar store.
- Red bandanna dollar store
- I assume you have jeans and a button down shirt to tuck in.
- Optional: to braid your hair in 2 separate braids. Tie each with red ribbon.
Crazy Cat Lady
I saw this one a while back and thought it was pretty damn cute for an adult or child. I think this would be even more funny if a many wore this and went as a crazy cat man!
- Terry Cloth Robe
- Stuffed cats (borrow them, thrift store or dollar store)
- Pin the stuffed cats all over your terry cloth robe
- Hair in rollers optional
I’ll leave you with one more thing to picture of my evening in Party City. I was reminded why I would not do well in prison. I would eventually end up someone’s bitch. As C and I waited in line to tell the 80 pound sales associate which costume we wanted, it was finally my turn. As I began to give her our costume selection, an oversized woman who could crush me and was looking me up and down barked out,
“We were here first.”
Now we both knew she was not there first but weighing my options and realizing I didn’t want to go as a battered wife for Halloween, I let Big Birtha go in front of me and I’m glad I did. Out of the 500 costume offerings, she barked orders to get her the,
“Naughty nurse costume! Extra large!”