The Awkward Gift

Happy holidays everyone! I hope you are enjoying friends and family as we say goodbye to the armpit of years- 2016. I hope you received what you wanted and are able to return what you don’t. I have to say, I received a gift that is in the top 5, nay, the number one gift that left me blushing and confused. It’s not everyday that I immediately grab my phone and snap a pic of my gift.

We opened gifts at our house, then headed over to my in-laws. My children were eagerly anticipating this as understanding the true meaning of Christmas is on par to understanding the Italian language. They had yet to receive the “big” gifts which included a chromebook and a fitbit. I just wanted the 4 lbs. of filet the MIL was cooking. I hadn’t eaten a proper meal and I was prepared to feed like a wild animal as opposed to eating like a human.

After roughly 4 minutes and 28 seconds of opening presents in a 3′ radius of the Christmas tree, my mother-in-law announced it was time for my husband and I to open a gift.

‘Finally,’ I thought.

She threw a Christmas bag over to me, about the size of a shoe box. I caught it, thanked her for it, looked inside then back up at her. I put my hand in the bag then thought twice.

“Oh, ok. Thank you.” I said praying she would let it go, not needing me to share the contents.

“Go on, show everyone,” she said obliviously.

“Nah, that’s ok. Thank you,” I said again, willing this tug-of-words to be done.

“Hold it up,” she implored. At that point, I knew I had no choice.

Slowly I put my hand around the silky, lacy pantie set and began to raise it out of the bag slowly, like an elevator ascending a shaft…..in front of my children….in front of my father-in-law.

But wait, there’s more.

Somehow, she had left her scissors in my panty bag, while wrapping. Hanging on to my new lacy unmentionables was a pair of blue handled scissors. I was prepared to die at that moment. Because I use humor as therapy I suddenly said ‘fuck it’ to myself, grabbed my phone and snapped this pic:

It’s great that everyone got a laugh out of this but in addition to the money they give us each year, I was given 2 gifts yesterday-the panties and a box of Keurig coffee pods. Out of EVERYTHING in this whole wide world, why was I given lacy panties?

P.S. I’m wearing them right now and they are pretty comfy.

P.P.S. I didn’t even get to keep the scissors. 🙁