Disclaimer: This is a rant that will clearly show my Gen X-ness. I’m sure most of you have lovely social media “stories” that your mother loves to view over and over again.
For all the serial “story” posters: STOP! I can’t express how little people care about your “story”. Aka, what you’re doing at approximately 4:23 in the afternoon. How can you possibly think that people care that much about what you’re doing every f’ing hour, on the hour? What kind of psychopath do you have to be to create a “story” 6 times a day?
And it’s always just that handful of people that do it. It’s the ones that place a little more value on their day to day activities than what we do. Some of the more “compelling” stories I’ve seen have included:
- A freshly sewn wound, just after surgery
- A child laying down after having just puked
- An oven
- Someone’s fucking mug in different poses…EVER…SINGLE…DAY
- The back of a dog’s ass (this one, courtesy of Chelsea Handler)
Look, I’ll be the first one to admit that I talk about a lot of TMI stuff but that TMI stuff is about relating to people and making everyone that reads this blog realize that none of us are perfect.
Story Therapy
Because of all the narcissists of the world, I’m afraid I’m going to have to recommend the following treatment plan:
A. Put on ruby shoes (just do it). If you don’t have ruby shoes, go get some red sequins and hot glue that shit.
B. Repeat after me while clicking your heels together three times:
No one cares about my story
No one cares about my story
No one cares about my story
C. Now take the ruby shoes off, you look ridiculous. And for the love of God, don’t put a “story” out there about this.
LOL I hate the stories too!! I never watch them on Facebook but if it’s on Instagram I have to click through them super fast because I hate seeing the stupid circle at the top! I know people like them Cos they disappear but it’s super annoying! Half the ones that I see posted on my feed, literally could have been a post. Like it’s not a moving picture/movie/poll so what’s even the point?!
Rant shared!
Yes! Exactly what is the point of a story when they could just compose a post? I just think its redundant and caters to the overly narcissistic individual.
Totes!
There is a particular place in hell for people that make this insipid boomerang videos of them moving their heads back and forth…. what in the sweet hell is that anyway
I KNOW! Its soooo annoying. At first I thought it was neat, now I’m just annoyed.
100% agree. I’ve ranted on social media before… If you have more than two “stories” at any given moment, it’s excessive and it needs to stop.
On Schitt’s Creek last night, I absolutely love the quote Moira gave. She said “Social Media is an amusement park for clinical narcissists! OMG! Perfect! EXCESSIVE!
Ok, this is going to tell my age but what do you mean by “stories”?
So at the top of Facebook, there are these tiny rectangles with our friends names on them. If you click on them it’s just more of like a moving post for lack of a better word. It’s really redundant.
Ok, I’ve seen that “add to your story” thing but didn’t know what it was. Thanks.
It’s incredible stupid.