My Review of Zoolander 2 & Meeting Anna Wintour

Comedies are my favorite. For the few times I’ve been dragged to movies like The Piano or the movie about Stephen Hawking, I debated on slitting my wrists in the theater bathroom but quickly changed my mind since I was their ride home.

I have been counting down the days to Zoolander 2. Both my sons and I had the day off and because my sons have an aversion to sleep, we opted for the 9:50 am movie. We drove to the gas station to get their treats then to Starbucks to grab my latte and croissant because let’s face it, you need to mortgage your home just to afford movie candy. I was in the running for mom of the year taking them to Zoolander2 as well as allowing candy at 9:50 and I didn’t want to blow it.

I had brought a gallon plastic bag and sealed my latte in it. I then tucked it neatly into my Louis Vuitton purse and used my son’s drinks and candy to keep it upright. The contraband was hidden and we were off.

So here is my official review:

It was really funny. Not as funny as the first, but pretty damn close. I am impressed that Ben Stiller not only starred in it, but directed the film as well. Oh….and he also co-wrote it.

Will Ferrell was my favorite and I REALLY wanted to see more Mugatu, Todd (his assistant) and the poodle. The fact that he had Stitch Bitch tattooed on his stomach left me in sheer awe. Will didn’t roll in until the movie was about 1/2 over.

Loved the Kristen Wiig role. The makeup was spot on, channeling Donatello Versace. Kristen gave Alexanya Atoz an accent which you expected. The issue? I found myself frustrated because I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I wish she had taken the accent down a notch so I didn’t have to think (yeah, I said that) about what she was saying.

There were SO MANY famous/infamous stars and designer cameos in this movie. I LOVED it! Here is a brief list:

John Malkovich, Vera Wang, Anna Wintour, Alexander Wang, MC Hammer, Susan Boyle (don’t recognize the name? Google it and you will appreciate the randomness of this cameo), Keifer Sutherland, Justin Beiber (does not count in my book but whatever), Ariana Grande and Susan Sarandon.

When Anna Wintour came on screen (she had an extended cameo), I leaned over to P and said “Remember? Mommy met her.”

He rolled his eyes and whispered, “I know, I know.”

For anyone who doesn’t know Anna Wintour, she is the long time Editor and Chief of Vogue as well as the inspiration for the book turned film: The Devil Wears Prada.

So here’s the story of meeting Anna Wintour: 6 years ago I had the stellar idea of taking a 2 year old and a 6 year old to New York City…on my own….for vacation….with connecting flights. We were visiting my cousin and sister who lived in my cousin’s McMansion in Jersey. Al Rocker lived in his neighborhood. My sister moved in with him for a 2 year position at NYC medical center. With 6 bedrooms and a pool, he was the unofficial bed and breakfast for all Midwest relatives.

On our 3rd day visiting, I took the boys to F.A.O Schwartz for toy shopping. It was March and still pretty cold. On the corner of 47th and Madison we were off the charts cold and F.A.O didn’t open for another half hour. C was beginning to squirm in his stroller and it was only a matter of time till he exploded.

“Hey, hey….I have an idea. I want to show you guys where mommy worked during her internship. You want to see it?”

P shook his head no.

“Oh c’mon, let’s go see it. I’ll buy you some candy at F.A.O Schwartz?”

Yeah, I pulled the candy card, so sue me. It worked.

A few minutes later we were warming up in the building I had worked in in 2000. I had scored an internship with the suit division of Ralph Lauren making a whopping $8 an hour. I hated it along with the 2 bitchy roommates I lived with in the East Village. They were interning at Giorgio Armani together. I was offered an unpaid internship there but was fortunate enough that my interviewer sent me over to Ralph Lauren since he knew making money in NYC is semi-important.

While in the building I struck up a conversation with the security guard about why we were there and how his cousin lives in our state. Just as I began to ask him if we could go to the Ralph Lauren floor, I looked over to the elevators to see Anna Wintour and 2 beautiful model minions walking out. My mouth dropped.

Like clockwork, C exploded just at that moment. He was trying to get out of his stroller like a lunatic in his straight jacket. P also dropped his crayons the exact same time, causing them to roll under the security desk. He quickly dropped on his belly, stretching his little arm under to reclaim the crayons yelling “I can’t reach them!”

Oh shit. Here I am between a small sampling of the life I experienced a decade ago with my life as a mother now. I wanted to meet Wintour but was scared, given her Lucifer like status the book and movie had portrayed.

In the end I said “fuck it” under my breath.

“Can you watch them for like 10 seconds?” I asked the security guard. I was only going 10′ away and besides, given the existing meltdowns, no one was going to take them. The security guard gave me a fatherly nod. I walked up to Anna Wintour.

“Ms. Wintour, I am a HUGE fan. I loved The September Issue.” I said gushing. This choice of words was a split second decision as I almost told her I loved The Devil Wears Prada. Things may not have ended well had I said that.

“Thank you,” she said politely in her British accent.

Her model minions glared at me as if I had just spit on Anna’s Jimmy Choos. They looked hungry and I wanted to offer them one of C’s cheerios but decided against it since 1 cheerio carries roughly .25 calorie. I thought about telling them I would be eating Mac and Cheese later that day at Chat N Chew in Union Square but knew that would be rude to boast.

“Ok, well gotta go,” I said as I walked backwards. “I have 2 sons and they are loosing it right now.”

So there you have it. My brush with Anna Wintour. So I want to know, have you met anyone famous? What did you say or do?