I am like a Goddamn gremlin. What is my problem? I should not have wine and Facebook after 11 as I have proven time and time again I can’t handle it. It’s like I have an alter ego and when I wake up the next morning, I need to check all forms of social media and undo what I have messed up. Thursday night was no different and boy is it a doozy.
I was trolling Facebook after maybe 4 glasses of wine when my feed had a casting call ad about a new Gordon Ramsay reality show that teaches families how to cook.
Sure! It would be a fun family event to learn how to cook by none other than Gordon Ramsay! Why I thought this was a good idea was beyond me considering I had written such eloquent posts like: Cooking To Me Is Like Cleaning The Toilet Part 1 or Cooking To Me Is Like Cleaning The Toilet Part 2. I know my husband thinks my cooking sucks even though I truly feel it’s not that bad. So I clicked on the ad and 20 minutes later, I had what I thought was a work of art, complete with pictures. The application asked for a story and I gave them 2 of my honest, epic fails in cooking:
My first attempt at a Quiche called for a pre-made crust. I used the first pre-made crust I found at the grocery store. When we bit into it, we soon discovered the crust I had chosen was indeed a graham cracker crust, pre-made for cheesecake and not Quiche. My second fail was choosing a chicken for Thanksgiving, truly thinking it was a turkey. I guess because it somehow resembled the body of a turkey, I grabbed it.*
*I see a theme now that I think about it, I’m clearly not paying attention in the grocery store.
So yesterday around lunch my phone rang. The screen said Beverly Hills, CA.
‘Beverly Hills?’ I thought. ‘Why is someone calling me from Beverly Hills….oh snap….’
I picked up my phone to listen to the following message (click to hear it):
OH MY GOD! I usually do shit like this just to see if they will bite. I never think I’ll get a call. Hell, I had forgotten all about it. I told my boss and co-workers the story.
“You have to call’em back!” They implored.
“Nah, I had a few to drink. I just did it out of boredom,” I said, slightly embarrassed.
“Yeah, but you could be famous! Your total all American family. No wonder they picked you. Call’em!” My boss said encouragingly.
Before I could even call, I received the following text:
‘Wow, they really wanted to talk,’ I thought.
I called Cara back and she was ridiculously nice. After what I guess you could call a screening, she announced she loved my story and would be passing my info along to the Producers.
The Producers?!?!
So yeah, yours truly may be yelled at by Gordy himself. I very much doubt this will go anywhere as I can’t take 15 weeks off work. I’ll keep you guys updated but I thought it was pretty funny and wanted to share.
I get that you can’t take 15 weeks off work, and there’s no guarantee that you and your fam will last the whole 15, (and btw that does seem like a lot? Even the Bachelor is only 6 weeks?) but I do know these shows pay you for your time?
That was a sarcastic guesstimate on the weeks. You have completely changed my view on this. They pay you to be on these shows? I just thought you win prize money if you are the winner.
A lot do !
I honestly thought you were paid IF it were a contest and money was the prize. Thanks for the tip!
I’m sure that they will pay you some sort of SOMETHING to be on the show. They can’t expect regular families to just stop what they are doing for x amount of weeks with no incentive.
So glad I got to read this whole story. AUH-MAZING!
I seriously thought you didn’t get paid! I thought they just let you figure it out or live off savings?? I must be oblivious!
Lol i dont see how that would work. You should ask them!
I will if they call us.
I love you. I will be so excited if you get on.
Love you too! Unfortunately, my anonymous status will have to take a backseat. I’ll keep you all updated!!
This is so cool!!! Keep us posted.
BTW, can’t wait to read about your April Fools prank too! My birthday is Sunday, but I’m more excited for your prank post! 😀
Ha!! Happy birthday!!! I just got the aftercare stuff from my co-worker. I hope to videotape their reaction.
How awesome is that. Let us know.
I will!! 🙂