How much does poor communication cause issues in your life? Can you count on one hand or need 500 hands to count the number of times you’ve waited and waited for an answer, only to never get it or get what you deem the wrong one?
How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating
Don’t Worry About It
I remember as a child I would ask questions because I was curious. Sure, there was that one time I asked my parents’ friend Aunt Mary, what Lea Thompson pulled out of Howard the Duck’s wallet (a condom). Aunt Mary paused for a moment and told me to ask my parents. I never did. The babysitters I couldn’t stand were the ass holes that were too lazy to explain stuff to me. I’d ask, “why doesn’t the kitty have claws?” And they would respond, “don’t worry about it.” Now, if I could go back in my little 6-year-old body as a 41-year-old woman, I’d respond in the following manner:
“Listen up ass hole, I’m not worrying about the stupid kitten. In fact, I’m a dog person. If I were worried about the cat I would have said I’m worried about the cat, but I’m not. Felix is obviously well-taken care of given his owner has a sweatshirt with his picture on it. Now, I’ll ask you again, why does the f’ing kitty not have claws?”
All I’m saying is if a kid asks you a question, do your best to answer it or find out the answer. This is how they learn.
HR
If you apply and accept a role as an HR person that is in charge of recruiting people, I can’t stress this enough: DON’T LEAVE A CANDIDATE HANGING! That is like the worst feeling in the world! Additionally after an interview, make sure you get feedback from the hiring managers. When a candidate calls you for feedback, don’t take the easy way out and respond “they thought you did great but they went in a different direction” If I had a nickle…..
On the Down-Low
What I’m about to say applies to about 99.999999% of everyone reading this. The information you have, that you are withholding from someone will not end humanity. The glaciers will not suddenly break off at an alarming rate because you told me how it’s decided on if a kid gets into the gifted program or not. Now before the trolls of the internet comment below that sometimes you have to withhold information, I get it. I’m talking about the spazs of the world who withhold information because they think it’s a matter of national security. In reality, it’s just a matter of someone who put their 2 week notice in. There’s a reason the terms “on the down-low” or “off record” were invented.
Answers
This is inspired by my friend who is being driven absolutely batty right now because she can’t get a concrete answer on something. I don’t like to see friends suffer. This kinda falls into the same bucket as HR. If you are in charge of making a decision or getting the decision made, then notifying that person, you have to understand it may not be a big deal to you. But it’s a huge deal to the person waiting.
Allow me to offer you a horrible comparison. I spent 13 hours in labor for my first-born. For 12.75 of those hours, the doctor was M.I.A. 15 minutes before P popped out, the doc rolls in as if she was coming off her lunch break, did her job then left.
I was expecting her to be there the entire time, whispering words of encouragement and doing I don’t know? Doctor stuff? And when P made his way into the world, I wanted her to lift him up (umbilical cord cut of course or maybe it stretches like a telephone cord??) like Rafiki did Simba.
The Circle of Life
What I’m getting at is though it’s not a big deal for you, it is to others.
Preach. This whole blog post resonates with me. It’s awful being left hanging waiting for answers!
Yes, yes and yes! Isn’t it though! While you wait, your brain spins into a million different scenarios and it makes you batty! You just want to know!!
Exactly you just want to know either way. PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!!
Exactly! Man, if I had a nickel for every time I sat by the phone like a teen girl, waiting on an answer to something. I’d be a gabillionaire! And it super sucks if it’s the wrong answer but at least you know.
My kidlets ask the most insane questions and I always come up with an answer for them! Even if it’s completely bananas and they know that it is. One time the oldest asked me why the sky was blue so I told her the proper answer (light, atmosphere, reflections etc etc) cos she was 12 and could understand it and she was like “FINALLY someone has an actual answer for that!” But if it’s a sexual question, I revert to her parents. She asked me what a specific STD was and I told her to ask her mom and she just turns around and shouts “it’s something SEXUAL!” and that was the end. Although I did explain what a “furry” was to her. I know her parents would not be able to handle that.
Well kudos for you for taking the time and energy to give thoughtful answers! And I forget why the sky is blue. I know it’s something along those lines but I wouldn’t have been able to answer it as well as you did! OMG, I totally forgot to put this in my blog post but P asked me last week while in the vacation house and binge watching a YouTubber what seamen is. I froze and the only thing I could say was ask N (my friend)! I was the parent and I had no idea how to answer!
Lol I like to use the “honesty is the best policy” rule. Its better for him to hear the truth. Especially around things like sex! You don’t want him growing up to think its impossible to have children unless you are married (I know he doesn’t but I also know someone who legit thought it was impossible to get pregnant until you were married)
Please tell me this person was under the age of 15 who thought that? WTF? I like to use honesty to except when you have to explain the process of how a man gets to the point of producing seamen. I don’t want to go down that route and I’d bet you $20 my son wouldn’t want to go down that road with me either. LOL!
Yeah they were, but their parents seemed to be impressed that the pre-teen thought that you couldn’t have a baby unless you were married. That’s a little insane.
And I totally understand that one. Have your husband explain it to him haha
So you call yourself ‘hotmess’ but don’t know how to explain seamen?
Odd…
I can relate to much of this and have been on the sharp end of this kind of thing myself. All good fun eh?
It’s no fun is it? It’s like, “just flippin’ tell me what I need to know before I lose my mind!” Right?
Yup.. I get that a lot lol