Facebook Selling Wall Part 2

Well folks it’s time to have a little fun. I loved posting the first Facebook Selling Wall and vowed to do another. Vow complete! I hope you enjoy these curated, WTF goods and services that are not only real but all are within a 1 hour drive of my home. Enjoy!

Nameless First Post

I don’t even have a title for this one. I’ve sat here typing and deleting everything I come up with. First of all, this looks like someone has 10 fingers on 1 hand. Second, the backdrop looks like a mattress without a sheet. Third, I admittedly have trouble with your and you’re but could you at least try in your description when selling your services and not use “ur”.

Beauty and the Beast

What every man wants for Valentine’s Day, an ugly bracelet with a fake jewel that says “Her Beast”. The “beauty” one is equally horrendous. Perhaps after exchanging this beloved gift they could have Valentine’s Day dinner at The Applebee’s.

Dream Car

Your ad is misleading friend. You say your car is free but when you click on it, you “wanna” trade for something. And is that a throw rug you’ve glued to the hood of this car? Like a person addicted to tattoos you obviously got addicted to adding awful shit to this car. In fact, I feel sorry for this car. You shouldn’t sell it, you should take it out back and shoot it.

Shark Teeth

When I got up today, my one goal was to find a large lot of shark teeth. I am pleased to say, mission accomplished. Thank God they added the dime. I was worried about the scale.

Adena Shirts

I had to Google this one. At first I thought they misspelled Adidas but realized the logo said Adena, When I Googled Adena, I found that it’s a hospital north of here. I guess this would be perfect if your last name was Adena and needed shirts for an upcoming family reunion. Please don’t have your reunion at an amusement park though. You’ll never be able to identify other Adena’s since everyone won’t have the same color shirt.

Free Money!

I think the description speaks for itself. This totally has to be legit.

Scissors

But these aren’t just any scissors, they’re “fun” scissors. And, as the description states: like new cause we never really used them. Brilliant salesmanship!

Sad on Stupid

I am sad at the stupidity here. There, I said it. You are a grown-ass man and your mother not only takes a photo of you, but announces to the community that you bought a mobile home but you can’t afford the necessary repairs or replacements? I love that the backdrop of this picture is a cruise ship dining room, btw. One last call out: unlike fingers in the first screenshot who chose to use “ur”, Mama June opted to go with “yr”. Interesting.

Babysitter

Read this post out loud in a curt voice. It will make you laugh when you read the specific stipulations. What happens if the family you are sitting for is 3.2 miles away? Do we have wiggle room? Will your ankle bracelet notify your parole officer? And I am so glad you mentioned you would cook for the children as in my mind, caring for a child also includes feeding them.

Deer in Headlights

This is an absolute disaster and there are a million things wrong here. Let me get this straight, you are unemployed, and totaled your car a month ago (I’m sure you had insurance). Rather than getting a job, leaning on friends or family, etc. you take to the Facebook Selling Wall to ask complete strangers to pick your boyfriend up at 6:45 a.m. and drive him home from work? Cook a little more meth, save up and maybe, just maybe, you can buy a Geo Metro.

Couture

So is the dress a $1,000 or is she offering her services for $1,000? If I commission a dressmaker for $1,000, she better damn well have Wang as her last name. Let’s discuss the dress. Is she going as a Duck Dynasty princess? Pay no attention to the baby peacock she is wearing on her wrist or the fact that the entire front part of the dress is missing.

This dress is so vile I added a second picture to showcase the back. Apparently we are rocking a corset back there that extends to her lower back. I wonder if it covers up the Faster Faster tattoo. Lastly, I noticed she really cleaned the house up nicely before having her picture taken to sell her skills.

 Shoulder Shrug

I thought I would end with the following vague post. It’s just a stick man who needs a ride to work. No indication of which side of town he is on, or his shifts. He just needs a ride to work and the Facebook Selling Wall is obviously the best choice in obtaining one.