Sweet baby Jesus, I just want to crank out 1 post, just one post. Is that too much to ask for? I’m not lucky enough to be one of those people who can read or write when the tv is on or a conversation is happening. It has to be absolutely silent. I opted for the smaller yet more private work space at work so I could get my work done. It’s proved futile though as the laughing and chatting seems to become louder and louder. I think I need to be like that autistic kid in the Netflix show Atypical, and wear noise cancelling headphones everywhere, even in social situations.
So today as I was working on another post and the chattering was non-stop, I decided to record some of the random stuff my son was saying to me. Every day, it’s a lot like the movie ELF when he is walking with his half-brother, asking a bigillion questions, all completely random.
“You know pumperknickeler is a word? Some girl in my class said it.”
“Do you know why Kyle and Matt aren’t allowed to watch YouTube anymore? Their mom caught them watching a naked woman being eaten by a crocodile.”
“We are allowed to go out for recess when it’s 20 degrees. It used to be 35. That’s why I’m bringing my hat.”
“You shouldn’t have wrapped this present,” he says, pointing to the present shaped like a ball, under the tree. “I know what it is.”.
“If wet isn’t wet, then what it is? I Googled is wet, wet?”
I’m too tired at night to type and much more awake and ready for it in the morning. But how am I supposed to crank out my posts when we are discussing if wet is wet? Side note, wet is wet. My son brought up a wonderful point, when you get out of the pool, what are you?
Wet. Hmmm…..maybe he’s on to something.
LOL is wet, wet? Why was a naked woman being eaten by a crocodile?! I’ve told my kids that I need to start recording them – they tell the greatest stories!
It’s all the reason why I always say kids are like drunk people. They go off into tangents with stories that have 0 plot and 0 ending. What’s longer than a kids story? Nothing….nothing at all.
Not true!! Whats longer than a kids story: and old people story
I just felt the life leave my body considering this equally mudane situation. God, your right. You just want to be like LAND THE PLANE!
Haha!! Lets never have conversations with youths or oldies ever again
I could never have been a writer or a blogger when my kids were home. I can’t concentrate either! I would have needed a babysitter and a seat at the library. Ha!
Right!? Although they are the inspiration for MANY, MANY posts, they are also the reason MANY, MANY posts aren’t written. In my head I’m willing them to stop talking but to date, this has never been successful. Sigh…….
Your child is a product of his mother, so inquisitive and funny. I enjoyed this post!
Ah, thank you Trudy! I appreciate that! They are the loves of my life!!!
I can’t argue with wet logic. But I am pretty sure pumperknickeler is not a word. 🙂
Yeah, how would you even use that in a sentence? “I was so excited, my friends said calm down, your acting like a pumperknickeler!” Again, another reason why little people are like little drunk adults.
LOL! Earplugs work for Me 😉
LOL! I do that during football on tv b/c at that point I’ve got both of them chattering and I can get 0 done….0. I do have earplugs thanks to my husband’s snorring!
Lol … Maybe muzzles then??? 😉
You DO realize, if he hasn’t already, he will be Googling “naked woman eaten by alligator…”?
***As I quickly, close my browser so no one sees what I’m doing***
LA LA LA….I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! I can’t accept that….nope….I won’t except it! LA LA LA…….
Hahahaha! I’m only teasing you. I’m sure he’s a good kid.
Wet is definitely wet… Unless it’s simply damp. I’m hopeless if the TV is on. I get sucked in even if it’s a show I actively hate. Must be the bright shiny lights.
I would agree, wet is wet is wet! And I’m with you on the tv thing. They’ll be watching something stupid like Spongebob. 5 minutes later, I’ve somehow walked over to the sofa (I have zero memory of this) and sitting next to them, giggling at the stupid jokes.