Having come back from L.A. I saw many faux pas on the airplane. It’s like these people have never flown before or aren’t really human. Usually common sense would kick in but I guess “usually” doesn’t happen for all of us. Have these things happened to you before? Have you even done some of these things?
Recline Your Chair
Why is this even an option? First of all, the recline is only a whopping 3″. You will still be slumped over to the right with drool hanging out of your mouth when it’s all said and done. The 3″ recline does NOTHING for you. It does however feel like you’re laying in the lap of the person behind you. I mean, you can’t even put your stupid laptop up all the way when someone reclines. I already feel like this in the airplane:
My oldest began to recline his seat back and I shot him the look of death when I saw his thumb on the silver disk.
“What?” He asked dramatically.
“You know what. Don’t you dare recline that seat. We aren’t those people.”
Here are the only times you are allowed to recline your seat in the Hot Mess Book of Etiquette:
- When a child younger than 5 is directly behind you.
- You’re on an international flight and it’s an acceptable time to sleep.
- You’re on a private jet.
These are the only times you are allowed to recline your seat.
Crossword Puzzle
When I must have all electronics off and I need something to occupy me because I brought nothing that doesn’t require a power switch, I turn to the crossword puzzles. But some ass hole already filled all of them in. How did they know all the answers? I look at the hints and it’s shit like “wrong way” or “a liquid” and yet this person got all of them. I can only deduce they went to the answer key and filled them all in. Cheaters.
Kids
On our flight from Vegas to L.A. there were 2 kids that kept kicking my sons’ seats and they were getting pissed. First of all, my children would have kicked once and that would have been the end of it or their leg and second of all, what parent is that oblivious to allow their kids to keep kicking a stranger’s seat? When my 9-year-old kept putting the tray up and down, up and down, I told him that was it. It either needs to be up or down because the person in front of us can feel it each time and it has to be annoying.
Now normally I probably could have turned around and politely asked if her kids could stop kicking my kids’ seats however, I was scared of her. They say never to judge a book by its cover but when I think I made out “cut a bitch” tattooed on her arm, I thought it best to suck it up and let Thing 1 and Thing 2 continue kicking.
Bathroom
I fully accept that flying can make one’s stomach turn and sometimes it can’t be helped. But for the love of God, don’t take your morning shit on the plane. My son was in line forever for the bathroom and when he came back he said,
“the woman before me left something special in there.”
It’s bad enough that these bathrooms are just flying port-o-johns, don’t make it worse by going #2.
Having to be Told to Turn off your Phone
Are you sooo important that you just gotta take that call up until the flight attendant tells you to put it away? Why do you think the rules don’t apply to you? Give me a break. You know what the rest of us are doing? We’re rolling our eyes at you. Unless there is a dying family member on the other end of that phone and this is the last time you’ll speak to them, put your stupid phone away!
Standing Up Immediately Upon Arrival at the Gate
Calm down! I want off this plane as much as you do but if you think Ethel in seat A1 is concerned about you in B17, you are mistaken. It drives me insane on how slow people debark a plane. The worst is when it’s 10:30 at night and you just want to get home but you have to wait for like 125 people to walk off first. Equally annoying is when you have 10 minutes before boarding begins for your next plane and you aren’t even in the right terminal. I don’t know what the answer is on this one other than accepting it and that it sucks.
So what did I miss? What do you hate that people do on an airplane?
I’ve only flown commercial for 2 trips: one was about 8 years ago to Corpus Christi, Texas, and the other was to England last year. I don’t remember the first trip, but when we went to England, I put me seat back as soon as I could… so I guess I’m one of ‘those people.’ COME AT ME BRO!
But forrealzies, airplane seats are not made for short people (not that they’re really made for non-short people either…) Because of the ergonomics of the seat, the lower part of the seat that is supposed to sit in one’s lower back pushes into my mid-to-upper back causing me to sit like a duck. Moving the seat back repositions that lump so that I’m not sitting in a twerking position.
Sorry. Not sorry.
On another note: if you or your spawn are going to get sick on the plane, at least make an effort to grab a barf bag instead of trying and failing at holding everything in and exploding all over everything. Said occurrence resulted in me having to hold my carry-on bag in my lap with my knees to my chest because the aftermath started rolling back into my area and the smell was absolutely grotesque.
Come at me bro! LOL! I agree on the barf bag thing! Seriously! That’s sounds like a horrible experience you had. And honestly, I have yet to meet a comfortable airplane seat. The top of the seat projects your head forward where you almost have to lean forward. I hate it!
Stinky food. Do NOT bring any food that has a strong odor on the damn plane. I LOVE garlic, but I dont bring garlic smelling food on a plane, because..EWW. I seem to always get stuck sitting next to someone who brings a pastrami, sauerkraut, onion,garlic stink sandwich on the plane. WHY? Are you going to starve to death on the 3 hour flight?? Geez. That’s my rant for the day, thank you.
I forgot this one!! Yes!! Who brings Chipotle on the plane? Who?! I was in awe of this woman’s stupidity for doing this. Ugh! I agree with all of this!
I am always on international flights so the reclining chair rule is one I break…but like you said, only during acceptable sleeping times.
I also always get an aisle seat, mostly because I get up frequently, like every 3 hours or so just to walk around a little bit or go to the bathroom (worlds smallest bladder when traveling !) but this one time, I was flying from Seoul to Toronto and had a teenager beside me. And almost every time I got up, she did too! She decided that instead of having to ask me to move, she’d just get up whenever I did and eliminate the struggle. That was really nice.
Ok, that was really thoughtful of her! Seriously! When 1 boy got up, I made sure to ask the other if he had to go to the potty. See, you didn’t break any rules b/c you were on an international flight! No harm done! I’ve only been on 2 international flights and at night I did recline my seat.
LMAO. Cut a bitch? I’m dying.
Maybe it said cutie pie? IDK. Btw, I am going to send you a Facebook message probably tonight about the area of Baltimore we are staying in. I have some (a lot) reservations!
LOL. When are you coming?
Memorial day weekend! We changed our hotel. We are now staying in Betheseda, MD at a new hotel called Canopy. So excited!
I was raised to stand up right away, as soon as the plane touched down, and start grabbing my shit. I was 19 before it clicked that this was obnoxious and unproductive, but I’ve been a firm “ass in seat until there’s space to grab my bag and move up the aisle” traveler ever since.
The first time my mom picked me up from the airport after I adopted this policy (back when you could still meet people at the gate) she was already crying when I exited the jetway; she thought I wasn’t on the plane and must’ve been dead. Because I wasn’t in the first press of assholes elbowing their way off the plane.
Also, as mentioned above I was clearly raised by animals and even I was taught we don’t do #2 in public restrooms, much less on a plane. Gross.
I use to jump up too. Then as I become older, I am more laid back and I’m like, “fuck it, I physically can’t go anywhere so what’s the use?” My favorite is when you have male business travelers circling the gate like sharks, overwhelmed with joy on being able to board during business class. Pul-leezzeee…..
Like getting on first means they’ll somehow arrive earlier, lol. I’ve got news for ’em: they’re landing at the same time as that asshole who ran for the gate as they were closing the door, then held things up while they hunted for their boarding pass and juggled too many bags/gift shop purchases. (A thing I also did once, but I added the dramatic kissing boyfriend goodbye—the gate attendants insisted.)
SO…FUCKIN’…..SPASTIC…..
Totally agree with every single point here. I hate it when people hog the arm rest and the leg room. It’s limited space don’t hog it man!!
I didn’t even think about the arm rest issue. Oh and when their thighs begin to fall into your seat. WTF?
Yes urghhhh!!
I feel you on all of these… What else can I say.
You are a normal person and normal people understand that many of these are a faux pas that just shouldn’t happen. You know?
Yeah… I’m with ya ☺️