Thank the Baby Jesus March is Here!

So this post is primarily dedicated to all my peeps in the Midwest and New England area as you can absolutely relate to this feeling. We’ve crossed the finish line my friends. We have gotten through the ass part of the year. What is the ass part of the year? Primarily January and February. It’s cold and dark and boring during those 2 months. I just hunker down for those 2 months, looking towards March.

“I like Ohio! You get to experience all 4 seasons!” My father would say more than once.

‘Fuck the four seasons dad!’ Is what I wanted to say. ‘Fuck Winter! Fuck the 13 hours of darkness. Fuck the scraping of your windshields in the morning. Fuck the ice related accidents. Fuck the isolation!’ This would be the internal temper tantrum playing out in my head every time and still plays out in some degree to this day.

This cycle would continue until I left home. It would always be me begging my parents to move to Florida because I was so miserable in the winter. To say I suffer from seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) is an understatement. I thought about getting a seasonal affective disorder lamp for $50 where you sit in it each day but didn’t want to pay the money. ‘Nah, I would rather be depressed Sam’s Club. But thank you for having the lamp on your end cap. Maybe next year!’

I think the thing that really solidifies that spring has sprung will occur in exactly 12 days, 10 hours and 58 minutes…..not that I’m counting or anything: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!! I love when this happens in the spring, it gives me additional hope of the coming warm weather. And if you are one of those people that can never remember if the clocks move forward or back, just remember this: SPRING FORWARD; FALL BACK. Your welcome.

As I’ve mature….(sorry, I couldn’t get the whole word out without laughing), as I’ve matturred…, I’ve accepted this shitty weather and found solace in knowing is it’s only temporary. I’ve accepted the few good things I’ve found about it which includes: not having to paint my toe nails, shaving 50% less and easier ways to hide my muffin top.

So tell me, do you struggle with seasonal affective disorder? BTW, I bet it should be effective but to make their acronym work they had to use affective. It would be SED instead of SAD. Sorry, I digress.

Now if you are in Key West or San Diego and you have the balls to say you suffer from S.A.D. I want you to fly your tan ass up here to Ohio and around 7 a.m. when the wind chill is a balmy -15 we will go out and scrape car windows. Next we will drive on a sheet of ice to work. Then at 5:30 when the day has reached around 21 degrees, we will drive home in complete darkness, hoping the salt trucks have salted all the roads. So, see why this is dedicated to Northern folks? This weather is just a lovely addition to the additional darkness. But spring is coming, and I’m ready to give it a big bear hug!