S*** I Made for the Super Bowl

I hate cooking and I hate football. So if I told you that I spent 2 solid hours in the kitchen Sunday afternoon, preparing food for the super bowl, you would think I’m bat shit crazy (and perhaps I am). Well here’s the reason: I love my family. Ahhh….let’s get all gooshy and lovie, dovie…..no stop that immediately.

Anyway, I made 2 things that were borderline soul sucking yet definitely delicious and I’m going to share the recipes. Now, out of about 600+ posts, the below 2 recipes count towards the number of recipes I can count on one hand that you will find on Hot Mess Memoir. This is not a cooking blog.

Hot Mess 5-Layer-Dip (seems to serve 5,000, but I could totally be off)

Ingredients

• 1 can of refried beans
• 1 16 oz jar of salsa
• 1 ounce of taco seasoning
• 1 8 oz bar of cream cheese (you can go low-fat but why at this point?)
• 1 container of sour cream (did I mention this will not be a fat-free dip?)
• 1 tomato
• 1 bunch of green onions
• 1 green pepper
• 1 can of sliced black olives (I don’t like olives so I deem this optional)
• Iceberg lettuce (or do what I did and buy it pre-shredded)
• 2 cups of taco cheese

Step 1

Dice the tomato, green pepper, green onions and lettuce. Toss equal parts together in a bowl and set aside.

Ignore the white onions, that’s for the 2nd recipe below.

Step 2

In a small bowl combine the can of refried beans and taco dip. Spread bean concoction (layer 1) around in a 9×12 baking dish or something around that size.

Step 3

In another bowl, combine the sour cream and cream cheese, spread on top of the bean layer (layer 2).

Step 4

Pour salsa over the sour cream/cream cheese layer (layer 3).

Step 5

Pour the tomato, green pepper, green onion and lettuce mixture over the salsa (layer 4).

 Step 6

Sprinkle the taco cheese over the veggie layer (layer 5). Garnish with black olives if you can stand them.

The Result?

Philadelphia Cheese Steak (serves 4)

Ingredients

1/2 pound of beef round steak, cut into thin strips

1 green pepper

1 onion

2 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 cup mayo

1 clove of garlic (I always uses the jar of pre-diced garlic, cutting an actual clove of garlic….who does that?)

4 hoagie rolls

8 ounces shredded mozzarella

Step 1

Pre-heat oven to 475 degrees F. In a small bowl, mix the mayo and garlic together. Cover and throw in fridge.

Step 2

Slice up the onion and green pepper. Slice the hoagies if they need them.

Step 3

On medium-high heat, brown the slices of beef. As they cooked, I sliced them into even smaller pieces.

Step 4

Add the onion and green peppers to the beef and cook till the onions and green peppers are soft.

Step 5

Spread the garlic-mayo on the hoagies, top with the beef mixture then the shredded mozzarella.

Step 6

I really can’t tell you how long to toast but check it after 5 minutes and see if everything is melted/brown.

The Result?