Ridiculous Psycho Boss Advice

I am tired of reading articles put out by “experts” on how to deal with a difficult boss. The reality is, their tips are null and void if your boss’s mental state is less than stellar.

Many of these psycho bosses are hardwired with 1 or more of the below temperaments basically making your 8-10 hours suck beyond belief:

• Lack of empathy
• Narcissism
• Lack of patience
• Social awkwardness
• General stupidity
• Micromanaging
• Gossiper/Nosy
• Bullying

Because of this I decided to post some of the dumbest suggestions I’ve heard on how to deal with a difficult boss. I decided to put this advice in perspective for you.

The List

Advice 1: You are told to go speak with your boss about your issue with them. If that doesn’t work you should go speak to your HR.

Reality: I would love to be a fly on the wall when you start out the conversation with:

You are such a bitch. I have never used the C word till I met you but trust me you earned that title. Were you raised by the devil?

You are just 1 Bluetooth earpiece, Ed Hardy shirt and a deep dive away from being the douschiest individual I have ever worked for.

Advice 2: Make sure you have a bad boss.

Reality: Well let’s see I’m up to a bottle of wine every other night, you are the first person I’ve ever used the C word for and you suck the life out of the room upon entry. Confirmed.

Advice 3: Stay 1 step ahead and don’t let it affect your work. I will combine these 2 since they go hand in hand.

Reality: Unless you’re psychic, you will never stay one step ahead. Trust me, I’ve tried it. Just when you think you’ve mastered what they expect, they say J/k! Cue crazy person laugh.

For the “don’t let it affect your work,” oh come on! How many times have you ever thrown your pencil across your desk in hopeless anger after a confrontation and either verbally or mentally said “well fuck it, gonna get fired anyway.” Not to mention, affect your work? Unless you work around the clock your work will never be up to a crazy person’s standards.

Advice: Identify your boss’s motivation.

Reality: Please see list from above. Your screwed.

Ok, I’m going to go win the lottery now……good night.