I’m sure you all remember it growing up. The butterflies in your tummy when you received your school supply list and that annual trip with your parent(s) to the grocery store to get all of your fresh school supplies? You run the pencils under your nose like you would a well-made cigar. You slowly zip up and down your Trapper Keeper and feel the vibration of the thick plastic zipper. You try on your new backpack in front of the mirror. First with both straps but then decide you look cooler if you only wear it on one shoulder.
I believe this was the first time, maybe second, but this weekend is tax free weekend in Ohio. Now if you’ve been living with tax free times in other states, good for you, go to hell. For us it’s like a frenzy….like black Friday in July. We NEED-TO-SAVE-THAT-$4.07! I had forgotten about it until I walked into Target yesterday to find a tax free weekend reminder on the sliding glass doors. I rolled my eyes, mad at myself as I was in there for 2 kid’s birthday presents and didn’t have a school list.
“Boys! Grab your shoes, we’re getting school supplies!” I yelled as I walked in the door 30 minutes later. They were in the process of mutilating someone on Call Of Duty.
“In how long?” P asked as he whipped off his headphones.
“Like now,” I responded.
20 minutes later we are back at Target. To my delight, it felt empty. Target has a knack for making you go all the way back to the farthest corner for the supplies they know you need or for whichever holiday it is you are trying to decorate for. When we got to the farthest back corner, I now understood why the rest of the store was bare. It was bare because 98% of the customers were condensed into this 1 small area.
‘Me don’t want to go there,’ my childish brain said in pure horror and astonishment while watching a woman scold her kid for picking the wrong notebook. Regardless, we pushed one.
The way the rows were created and the havoc playing out, I likened this scene to what it must have been like, being checked in at Ellis Island at the turn of the century. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing what I needed. Too many people being crammed into one area.
I sent P off with his list while I contended with my 7 yr old, C.
“You can have any backpack you want. Not that one, it’s $64.99. Not that one, just because it comes with headphones. You’ve got Beats already.”
I looked over and saw a section heading that read LOCKER ACCESSORIES. P was going into middle school this year and was beyond excited about getting a locker. I wanted his experience to special.
I called out to P between folders being thrown through the air, “P! Look over there,” I said as I jetted my chin in that direction.
“Locker accessories,” he said smiling back at me.
“Why don’t you go check it out and I’ll be there in a few seconds,” I told him. He was off.
1 minute later he returned with a scowl on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s all girl stuff,” he responded.
“Nooo, let’s have a look,”I said as I began to push our 3 ton caravan over.
He was right. But it was the most stupid stuff I’ve ever seen for lockers. Here is a sampling of what I found:
A locker chandelier, I shit you not…
A locker disco ball…
And if there was something even more ridiculous than those, a throw rug…FOR YOUR LOCKER!
What’s next, a stripper pole for the locker? A chaise-lounge? I was pissed at the lack of selection for boys and even more pissed that the Buyers of Target were creating some sort of locker boudoire. Eventually we settled for a magnetic cup to throw pencils and pens in.
40 minutes, $167.00 and 1 Frappuccino later, we were home opening and labeling supplies. I ensured I had my supply after this whole situation….
Are you kidding me? I used to wait in the driveway with the motor running waiting for the kids to get home with THE LIST. That was pre Internet. We were out of there before the mob arrived. Better luck next year. LOL
Well, it seems to have gotten earlier and more hectic…oh and condensed into a teenier tinier area of the store.