Let me preface this post that this isn’t a political post and I’m not looking for a fight. I will not argue with you in the comments because it would be a waste of my time and yours. My child was quarantined and I’m fighting like the devil to get him back into school. Here’s my story.
Sunday
My 15-year-old son rushed into our bedroom and asked that I check my email for a quarantine email from the school. Sure enough, I had one stating that my son was in a class with a Covid positive kid and if he sat close enough to the kid, we would be notified. Thirty minutes later, our county health department calls us that my son is to quarantine for two weeks which means no in-person learning or the huge high school soccer tournament.
Monday
I call the doctor and request a Covid test which was quickly approved and scheduled for the next day. My next phone call was to the principal to ask where my son was sitting to the Covid positive (I’ll call this CPC going forward because I’m lazy) child. She took out the seating chart and are you ready for this? P was sitting 5’7″ from this child, behind and diagonal. 5″ is what is preventing my child from attending school in-person and participating in soccer. I leave a message for a lawyer because I want to know my rights before reaching out to the county health commissioner, my next phone call.
Tuesday
My husband takes P to Children’s hospital for a drive-thru Covid test.
Wednesday
Wednesday was like my action day. I don’t know why but I think I realized I was running out of time and kicked into action. After receiving P’s negative test results back in the morning, I wrote the following Facebook post. The feedback was not but outrage, shock and similar sad stories. What I also found was a reoccurring theme. Parents were vowing not to have their kids tested even if they had symptoms. They were also imploring other parents to do the same. Their reasoning is simple, healthy kids are missing out on in-person learning and sports for absolutely no reason.
I emailed, messaged and text the following people, hoping I would find one person out there willing to fight for these children:
- Governor Mike DeWine
- Lieutenant Governor Jon Husted
- Senator Rob Portman
- Mayor of my town
- State Representative
- The Columbus Dispatch
- NBC4 Columbus
Would you like to know how many of the above got back to me? 0. Not one person has so much as sent me a form message. Aren’t many of these people supposed to be helping us?
Later in the day, I received a Facebook message from a parent who’s son was quarantined from that same CPC. In another class, he sat in the same location as my son but 5’6″. Because of 6″, this senior and captain of the football team would miss the last football game of his high school career. He too was masked the entire time.
Thursday
I hadn’t heard back from the lawyer and time was running out so I decided to say screw it and call the county health commissioner. I was expecting a combative argument. Instead, the man that answered was one of the most laid back people.
“Hey, I understand,” he sympathized. “In fact, I have a call this afternoon with the school Superintendent about your son and another kid.”
I looked at my watch. It was 3:56 P.M.
“Wow, well given the afternoon is almost done, your call must be coming up.”
“It’s actually in a few minutes. As long as the Superintendent notifies us that it’s ok to be reinstated, I’m fine with it. I played sports in high school, I understand.”
‘Was it really going to be this easy?’ I thought.
“You have no idea how grateful we are for this. Thank you so much! I’ll follow up with the Superintendent, thank you!”
I hung up and excitedly mall-walked to my desk. I sat down and sent a quick email to the Superintendent wishing her luck on her call with the Health Commissioner. Again, thanking her for fighting for us. Minutes later I received the following her response:
Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I had a grown-ass adult lying to me. One of these two wasn’t telling the truth. My feelings of hope slowly transformed into frustration and annoyance. An hour, I get this from the health commissioner:
Somewhat optimistic? No ass hole, you literally said, if the Superintendent signs off on reinstating my son, he can be reinstated. As probably a huge part of your job, how do you screw up such a serious, consequential statement? I couldn’t write him back and I asked that he call me immediately.
I Lost My Shit
The Health Commissioner called me thirty minutes later on my commute home from work.
“Wow, how did it change that quickly?” I said, trying to keep my anger to a non-detected level. Honestly, I can’t remember the conversation clearly other than it was me telling him that 5″ is keeping my son from a proper education and 6″ is keeping a senior from making a memory at his very last football game. I explained the growing trend of parents imploring other parents not to test and how these rigid rules are going to end up causing the opposite effect. I ended the conversation by telling him that this wasn’t over.
And it wasn’t.
Friday
My first phone call was to the Ohio Department of Health where the call center operator transferred me to her boss. He was totally cool and explained that this commissioner was probably passing the buck as it’s up to them to rule whether or not a child returns to school. He suggested I call his boss which might be the county commissioners? I thanked him for his help and hung up the phone. That’s when I had an idea.
I text my co-worker who also happens to be a county commissioner in the neighboring county. Not only does he know our county commissioner but he’s friends with him. He text his friend and his friend text back that he would call the health commissioner.
So that’s where we’re at now, waiting. The game that the senior missed because of 6″ is over and they lost by 14. He can never get that opportunity back….ever. At the recommendation of the commissioner I spoke to, I have yet another Covid test for my son tomorrow. I spoke to the lawyer today and he’s told me exactly what needs to be discussed come Monday morning with our school. That’s my next door.
Final Thoughts
As a parent, in the year 2020, in the United States of America, never did I think I would have to consult an attorney to allow my son the freedom to learn in-person and play soccer.
Our freedom is never guaranteed, even in the United States. When it’s called into question, we need to fight for it as every patriot before us has.
For anyone that isn’t a parent, it’s simple. If you come for our kids, we will fight like hell to protect them.
How is this connected in regards to politics ?
It isn’t. Some people have said that wearing a mask vs not wearing a mask is political, even anything with the Coronavirus. I think I was just trying to convey that this is my story and only my story.
Gotcha..it’s definitely a well deserved angry story. You go girl for fighting the corrupt system.
Thank you! Here’s my bottom line, rules are made but it doesn’t mean they’re always right. This happens when enough conditions are met to analyze if common sense is or isn’t being used. When common sense falls to the wayside, that’s when we have the option to continue to follow the rules or fight for what we think is right. I looked at the situation as a whole (the benefits vs the consequences) and decided that the consequences outweighed the benefits. Something I didn’t put in my blog was that the health commissioner agreed on my logic that if a child isn’t sitting 6′ apart and they are wearing masks, then what’s the point of wearing masks at that point if you’re going to be quarantined anyway. I was also told (again, something that isn’t in the post) that if they reinstate the boys, they were fearful teachers would file grievances. Thank you for the encouragement. I will continue to fight for my son and the other children.
The selfishness and entitlement in this piece is mind-boggling. I am sorry that your son was not able to participate in a soccer match, but people all over the world are making huge sacrifices right now. I wonder how you would feel if your child had a false negative, spread it to someone else, and then someone became sick or died because of your demanding a lawyer to go against CDC policy? I am as sick of all of this as anyone, but I don’t expect special treatment for myself or family members. This was my first time reading this blog, and it left a very bad impression.
Thank you Anna for your comment. I respect your opinion.
Keep fighting!!! It’s such a shame to see people in decision making positions act like that. It’s too bad that most of them lack common sense and common decency.
Yes, I feel bad for the kids. 🙁
I know, and it’s going to keep happening I’m afraid.
I just read your article on your HEALTHY kid being quarantined. Same exact thing happened to our daughter and she missed her final 2 volleyball games…and back to online schooling til friday. I tried to get her back today (DAY 11 STILL HEALTHY) and school said no. Im going to call our health dept contact tomorrow. The insanity is unbelievable.
Kate, are you in Ohio? Sounds like it’s happening all over Ohio. Unfortunately, we aren’t going to know the ramifications until years down the line. I feel like these kids are experiencing disappointments that while us adults can process it. Kids will struggle, not being able to look at the whole picture. Yesterday evening, we had to forfeit a soccer tournament that was to be held in a few hours. 1 child on the team came down with Covid. So now, all those kids “exposed” on the team as well as anyone in the class quarantined. We need to fight this!
This is super long but I have lost a lot from covid and it’s making me very aware of what matters to me. I feel like this is a time for your kid and you to feel like hero’s, for being responsive and responsible. Covid stops with you.
I had back surgery in high school and missed tons of those ‘moments’ because of my health. But I treasure that my parents made the overall right decision with me to go to doctors, consult, get treatments, and choose a very invasive hard to deal with time suck of an intervention, because now I meet people who “didn’t get the surgery because I danced in high school’ ‘didn’t want to miss school stuff’ and they have breathing issues, deformity, crazy back shit happening that I am not having. There are good consequences from hard decisions. Moral fibre. Other people’s needs/greater good. Protecting people.
I don’t think authority and teachers are being selfish. They’re trying to save many, even if it affects people in a bummer of a way.
I do not know if you have seen someone have covid- but it’s not pretty. My boyfriend had it in March, for several weeks. For months after, his asthma and general fitness have been affected and while he was sick, it was terrifying to see him lean on his table to spread his chest open as much as possible, and breathe in without seeming to have any air coming in. Panic in his face as he would gulp air. And he had ‘mild’ symptoms, no hospitalization. It wasn’t mild. That look on his face was haunting.
And- I couldn’t be there. I was just watching his symptoms by video phone – it was insane. I kept him on speaker at night to hear him breathe because non asthmatics have died overnight with worsening symptoms. It’s not a big deal for many but it’s sooo random.
Maybe you can provide some context for me, because I just don’t really understand why getting your kid to do work from home for two weeks and missing a game to prevent spreading illness to many isn’t a good trade off. Sucks- yes. Doable? Yes. Good for humanity? And study habits for the future? College you gotta work yo. Self propelled for the win.
I keep asking people to explain to me how they understand it. I know my reasons above. I don’t really know why staying home is so bad- so… help me get it. So far- from my uncle- the only person patient enough to explain- I got ‘but that’s not everyone. It’s only a few. Most people are fine’. Ok. So- statistically I probably won’t get it. (But he’s the same guy who buys 3 lotto tickets a week assuming he will be the lucky one on that…. ? )
I am not willing to take that risk with my most precious people. Or my own health as an immune compromised individual.
At the outset, covid was killing 1-10 patients. Generally if your area hospitals have capacity for emergency, and ICU, it’s lower than that, as therapies improved, and they keep people to monitor them when they can to ensure recovery progresses . But if you’re in a county with a large amount of outbreak, those ratios are maybe 1-20. 5% odds suck.
So- your kid- and the 5’6” measure kid and the kid who was 3’ but snuck out with his girlfriend or the one who was 9’ away but turns out the infected kid is a super shedder- out of all those folks, if someone gets it… and has spread it… your family and those 10 other high school student families… whose Russian roulette relative are you ok losing ?
This is the weirdest crappiest illness we have seen in a long time. But I don’t get where people are willing to gamble with their precious folk.
The other additional argument- Your kid gets sick but is not symptomatic and spreads it to others and leads to a death of someone at that game? That’s going to fuck them up a lot more than missing it.
Be a hero. Be proud of protecting your community.
Firstly, I want to thank you for disagreeing with me in a mature, civil way. There isn’t a lot of that on the internet and for that, I can already tell you’ve got your shit together. For a topic like this, I knew I would have people that disagree and that’s ok, that’s the beauty of America. My point is this, I am on board with quarantining to save everyone else when someone has been exposed. Here is my issue: they say when you can’t be 6′ apart, wear a mask. Both the covid+ kid and mine were wearing masks. So because of those 5″, we used the safety net of the mask. Now let me be clear, had these children not been masked, then yes, quarantine for both out of an abundance of caution.
I’m going to give you some context to all of this. I’ve got a smart kid on my hands. I don’t know where he got it from because my philosophy in college was “we’re all walkin’ out with the same piece of paper so if I’m a C student, that’s ok.” He has straight A’s in all his honors classes. He scored a 20 on an ACT pre-test (which I’m told is pretty good considering he’s 15). His goal is ivy-league and to get there he needs to stay on this trajectory. Nothing, absolutely nothing replaces in-person learning. We went through on-line learning last Spring and it to sum it up, it was a bunch of busy work.
From a medical perspective (and as you probably read), the health commissioner that is in charge of who gets quarantined lied and said it was up to the Superintendent, then he backtracks in another email, apologizing for “misspeaking” and it really is up to the health department. THEN this past weekend, something that obviously isn’t in the post, I get a call from the health department stating the quarantine would be lifted at approximately 2:10 pm “to help with extra-curricular activities in lieu of 11:59 p.m. They’ve flip flopped so much it’s ridiculous. To add insult to injury the health commissioner wrote they are quarantining him b/c we have to “protect our community” yet they have authorized a craft show at my son’s high school. You can go on my twitter feed to see the email vs the craft show where they’ve authorized this. Seniors LOVE craft shows and yet they are ok with having this?
So that is my side of the story. I’m assuming you are homeschooling your kid(s) during this time? Again, I appreciate your message and I hope I’ve added some additional frame of reference. I believe in responsible quarantining to protect the community.
I appreciate your thank you. I appreciate dialogue. You and I are both merchandisers, I was jelly of your focus on retail back in the day, I am in sciencey protective stuff- I got laid off because of covid from my first retail style company, and now I kid you not, am in charge of sourcing covid stopgap equipment for a large multinational company that provides medical equipment. Being a covid category manager and being begged to find a new source for additional bodybags is pretty heart wrenching, and I suppose it makes me hypervigilant. My company is the company who should always have supply of that stuff. If we are out … it’s bad.
I also don’t have kids. I was kindof toying with the idea of maybe having a shot at that but the longer covid happens the more I can’t touch my boyfriend- across an ocean for nearly a year now… – so I trying to not focus on my dwindling fertility clock.
Craft show- that’s insane, unless it’s in an open air parking garage and they apply the urinal premise to the stalls (crafter/empty car space/ crafter) and the patrons have to wear pool noodle spacer bars. Or roll through it in the people size hamster balls, and submit an order form at the end. ‘Dale, thanks, I’ll take 3 of the toilet paper doll knit cozies from level F spot 6, and then on C by the motorcycle spots- the soap ? lady didn’t have a number but I’ll have one of the eucalyptus bars and two goats milk. I wanted to look at the macrame on level m but I was getting dizzy….”
I appreciate your discussion re- risk within and outside of 6, masked and unmasked, and I have more to say- I have to go start work, so I’m instead commenting on kid info- and ideas for additional lock down, based on my experiences of a kid who missed a ton of school, and had to do a lot of independent work.
When it comes to homeschooling- I get this ivy bound dude isn’t going to get the right chops from worksheets, weird time-fill assignments and ‘math chapter 7 every 3rd question under 15.’
That’s why I think if he is that smart this is a really good time to learn how to learn on his own.
If he gets that garbage homework done every day in 1 hour, he has 3-4 hours of learning time. What can he do? – what did I do…. well, I did a lot more reading and trying to find resources because that was ages ago but what I would do, and have done with some down time:
He could take some Coursera online university courses that are free and will teach him something he doesn’t know. Plan and execute 1 of those in a lockdown if it happens again. You at least get lectures you can watch. Other users taking it you can feedback with, and practice with actual online stuff. See if he can find one from a prof he might meet on a campus down the line.
Find one of the super cool physics YouTube’s and recreate some of the less insane things. Physics girl is fun, smarter everyday is good, there are super super science stuff about antimatter and stuff out there now which are so interesting.
Watch a few channels and be inspired and make his own. That kind of ‘what can I explore and make and share’ is the stuff universities gobble up.
I have a friend who got a full ride to business school at Notre dame, he did terrible in high school and flunked out of college before running off to Europe and coming back with the realization that he was pretty smart, and didn’t want to be the kid who had potential and didn’t realize it- and he told the ND folks- I’m not that much smarter than other kids, I was faster at running so I don’t have a criminal record. They wanted him because he wanted to be there and spent his second round of university teaching himself how to learn the real things.
School for years is just about regurgitation. If you figure out how YOU actually learn before you get to college, you’re leaps and bounds ahead because there in college, it’s about more than worksheets. That is what all my high school time when I was in hospital or not at school and having to catch up based on reading chapters taught me. If your kid is smart, let him put the garbage work aside and let him learn. Definitely don’t let him putter around and fill in worksheets and accomplish nothing.
I saw your next post about social ramifications. Yep; they suck, they’re real, and the extroverts around us need good attention and stimulations. Those are real issues.
I will probably have more to say; about the distinction of risks and point of masks and whatnot- but like I said- I gotta go to work. Do you know where I can get bodybags? Ugh. ?♀️
Wow, body bags? That would be eye opening. I’m sorry that is what you buy. It’s amazing to see the stuff the world is running out of b/c of the pandemic. First it was toilet paper, masks and sanitizer. Now I have enough for 4 hospitals at my work. Now it’s beverage carriers and to-go containers.
I appreciate the ideas to keep him busy at home. Everything I do is wrong to him so I’ll have to let him know this came from a reader and certainly not his mother. Deal off if it’s his mother. I think I’ve heard of the lecture site and I think I wanted to check it out so I’ll be checking it out.
Again, I want to thank you for your insight. I can see we both clearly have different experiences that are forming our opinion around Covid. We may not agree but that’s ok, as long as it’s civil. Please stay safe and please don’t be a stranger!