No, I’m not a fancy hooker peoples. Get your mind out of the gutter. My 7 year old, C, is 3 doors down while my 11 year old, P, is in the front room with his buddy B, on an air mattress watching Episode 1 of Season 28 of Survivor (yes, I said 28!)- Hot Girl With A Grudge. Did I mention I’m not being nominated for mother of the year?
So my 7 year old is like a rock star to the 2 boys who moved in 3 doors down about a month ago. Like Entourage, C and his posse have been out all day partying. It was no surprise when the following exchange happened on my front porch today:
“Umm….can umm……C spend the night? My mother would LOVE to have him.” This was the little boy’s exact words in which I knew he was clearly lying.
“Did your mom say it’s ok?” I asked.
“Oh yes, she would love to have him over.”
“I’m going to text your mom, just to make sure,” I challenged. Suddenly they become vultures, crowding around me like terrorists, ensuring I am sending the right message to their mother.
5 seconds later I send the following text and here was her “gosh darn” response:
I looked at both boys with skepticism.
“Just got a text from your mom. Apparently she knows nothing about this.”
They stared at me with the dear in the head light look, like ‘whhhaaaaaaa?????’
Eventually it was decided C would spend the night 3 doors down but only after a “torturous” 69 minutes of waiting for them to clean their house and eat dinner.
UPDATE
As I write this post, I get the following ANNOYING text:
Fuck! The tweener and his buddy were self-sufficient. They could grab their 6th Sunkist and watch Babes With a Grudge or whatever the hell they were watching and probably even sleep in.
The super human 7 year old is different. Sleep in? What’s that? Additionally, when he’s up, he wants his breakfast and HE WANTS IT NOW BITCH! It’s like a Bravo reality t.v. meets Main St. America as he doubles over as if he is dying. If he doesn’t get his mini pancakes and a glass of milk by 6:53 a.m. This is not unlike my behavior when I am hangry.
The only complaint I have about the tweener and his buddy is the internet decided not to work from 8:55 p.m. till about 9:30. This needed to not happen due to the Survivor marathon they had planned courtesy of Amazon Prime (bless you my friends). I was about to have a meltdown because all I wanted to do was blog, learn about blogging and read blogs. Instead I’m pressing input to hit HDMI 1. No. HDMI 2. No. HDMI 3. No. Why the fuck wasn’t it working? After 35 minutes and me chanting, “I will not loose my cool, I will not loose my cool,” I get the t.v. to work.
Well I’m going to sign off now. I finally got Ozzy and Jack World Detour to FINALLY work which is a blog post in it’s own, having to get it to work and the conversation I had with the customer sales rep located in the Philippines. I will post that convo tomorrow because it is a doozie!
1 Comment