Thank the baby Jesus this week is over and it’s the weekend. Not enough wine in the world to handle work in my opinion.
Below is my final installment of corporate phrases. Please check out Part 1:Corporate Phrases You’re Tired of Hearing-Part 1 along with Part 2: Corporate Phrases You’re Tired of Hearing- Part 2 at these links for a combined total of around 100 phrases to suck the last bit of life you have left from your cubicle. Please send me more phrases. There has to be new strains of this plague, somewhere we haven’t heard of.
This is fabulous – I can’t stand all these shitty phrases that mean nothing and suggest bureaucracy. My husband just got laid off from a large Oil Service Company. The youngster assigned to help him create a resume or CV outraged him by suggesting he use the phrase BRANDING STATEMENT. WTF???? I had to tone down his very snarky email and put in some humor such as “I am not a steer!”
At the moment I hate ‘mindfulness’ and had a colleague in Scotland who incessantly said, “we have to hit the ground running with this project”. What does that mean, especially since she was a fat, lazy cow, sorry heifer. 🙂
Oh crap…I think I missed those douchey phrases. I would have asked that too as I await the pain of a branding iron. Why can’t we talk normal? I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I’ve been laid off twice and it is the most helpless feeling, especially when you have mouths to feed.
We are okay, better than most. Good severance and 32 years since his last layoff. Still, I keep having nightmares about the future. Then I remember I lived in Egypt and we managed just fine. 🙂
Wow, I hope they were fair with severance, especially after 32 years. My second time around the magic ingredient was 3 letters of recommendation from 3 former bosses. Wow Egypt, that sounds so exotic.
It sounds exotic until you have intermittent power, intermittent water, intermittent telephone, leaking sewage pipes, leaking gas pipes and 20 million other people… 🙂
Yeah, that sounds like the epitome of a hot mess.
Perfect for you! 🙂
Right?!?!
“Moving forward….we will have to deep dive to find the root cause…” AAGGGHHHH, cubical culture nearly killed me.
These are awesome…but are some of the explanations cut off? I couldn’t read the whole explanation on some of them…