Commercial Cliches

matthew mcconaughey train wreck

This could be totally off but I have to laugh sometimes at the following commercial cliches. Have you noticed any of these too?

  1. The mother is ALWAYS wearing khakis, usually with a denim button down shirt to clean the house or grocery shop. I give you all permission to kill me, should I wear this ensemble.
  2. Corporate has this notion that the “average man” has a full on beard and wears a plaid shirt untucked. This was WAY before the whole hipster beard thing.
  3. Carl’s Jr.– Hey, guess what? Women like to eat cheeseburgers too. I’d like to thank you for alienating every woman in the U.S. with your slutly swimsuit model blowing your cheeseburger. Tell you what? Get Scott Eastwood eating a cheeseburger while dusting and maybe I’ll consider eating at your establishment again.
  4. Lincoln commercial– My next car would be a Lincoln if they would just come out and say “You know what? We screwed up. We shouldn’t of let this hot mess of Matthew McConahaughey go on for as long as it has. Aside from being the most uncomfortable commercials to air, with the exception of Cialis commercials, we should have put a stop to this a long time ago.”
  5. Liz Taylor– Like the Christmas Story, it wouldn’t be Christmas without the commercial of Liz Taylor taking off her earrings, throwing them on the card table and exclaiming, “these have always brought me luck”. The funny thing is that when the commercial was made, I think she was like 102 so they overexposed the photo thus hiding all imperfections.
  6. Viagra– I’ll be real here and admit I really don’t know what I’m expecting the Marketing team of Viagra to offer in the way of commercials. All I know is the commercial elicits a continuing eye roll for at least 20 seconds when watching the couples, who often times probably wouldn’t even need viagra get themselves in the silliest situations. Suddenly the situations make them want to have sex.
  7. Oh my God, if I see 1 more incontinence commercial where women are dancing like no one is watching, I am going to loose my shit. Go ahead, look at the commercial here: Always Discreet so you too can throw up in your mouth. When I see these women dancing, I get the same feeling I get when I saw my mom dancing as a child. I want to scream “Oh my God, just stop. Stop dancing now.”

What did I miss? I know there are a billion other commercials I had to have missed. Let me know!

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