Now we are running into issues. It’s 8:38 at night and day 1 of my diet (I started it on Mother’s day because I’m a moron). I have adhered to the 1,600 calories, have 50 left to spare and even walked for 15 minutes to kick start the diet. I am hungry, not tired and out of wine.
Because my fellow soccer moms are not quitters, we hashed out the wine/diet problem for some time this evening. Below is our conversation and how nothing was solved. I’m the blue, having conversations with NC, NG and AF.
At this point one of the friends had sent a gigantic pic of a 5,000 calorie ice cream dessert.
Side note: Her development is a 4 minute drive and like she said, a 10 minute bike trip.
I followed this conversation with an adult meltdown, calling Amazon ass holes for not having enough drivers in my area. Next, I then entered nearby zip codes thinking I could then trick Amazon into bringing wine. Finally, when that didn’t work, I tried my order on a different device, thinking somehow thinking this would work. That was a no go. By now I want to drive to Amazon (the distribution center is about 1 mile away), knock on the door and ask if I could just buy the wine from them. Maybe even get a discount, saving them the delivery fee.
‘Wouldn’t I just go to the grocery store 5 miles away?’ I asked myself.
‘Yes, but that’s not the point! It’s about the principal.’ This is the conversation in my head right now, between me and me. What good is Amazon Prime Now if they can’t deliver wine within an hour? I would have even waited 2 hours; I’m patient.
Update
I am finishing this post this morning. As always, I’m glad Amazon couldn’t deliver wine as that would have been 500 calories I didn’t need. I still don’t think it’s right that my friend who lives 4 minutes from me could get wine and I couldn’t. My theory? We have 3 Alexa’s in this house and that bitch hears everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alexa didn’t have a hand in the no delivery, knowing it was day 1 of the diet.
I’m glaring at her right now. This isn’t over Alexa……
Sounds like Alexa was standing in solidarity; you can’t have wine and neither can she. 😀
What a ho’! That’s not how this works Alexa!!!
Do you like G&Ts? I am sure I heard that it is the alcoholic drink with the least calories… I just googled it. 110 calories for gin & tonic (or 64 for gin with diet tonic)
I know you wanted wine…but you could have like 4 G&Ts for the same calories…
Never heard of it. I’m googling that today. Do you like it?
It’s just gin + tonic (plus lemon or lime.) Its the best drink ever!!
Well thank you! I’ve already planned ahead and placed 24 ounces of wine in my “snack” area. I now have approximately 660 calories left for dinner. I can totally do that!
HM you are hilarious!!
LMAO. I completely understand.
Thank you!
That bitch had best remember who controls her wifi access, her power supply, her everything and quit playin’.
Also, and more importantly, I can’t get same-day wine either. I mean, without getting dressed and going to the store and getting it myself.* Which, as you know, is the worst part of the wine experience.
* (sending Husband to do those things.)
Get it yourself? Who does that? That is so 2016. Because my husband and I have the mentality of 12 year olds, we often ask Alexa completely inappropriate questions. She then follows in a monotone voice, “I’m unable to answer your question.”
We should hang out.
I see we share the same philosophy on acquiring alcohol. I respect that. I’ll let you know when the fam is in Cincy again for soccer. You live in Cincy, right?
No, we are hella north. Hella. Practically Canada.
Crap, why did I think you were in Cincy. What state?
I can’t get wine delivered, nor can I buy it ANYWHERE on Sunday. Which IMO is UNAMERICAN. I need to move….
Where the F do you live? 1921? I don’t understand. In what reality does this curb drunk driving, alcoholism or anything else? In fact that county, city, state looses money on all the taxes they could collect.
HAHAHAHA 1921….actually come July we WILL be able to buy booze on Sunday. WOOT. YAY AMERICA.
Well that only took 90 years! Yeah progress!
Now if only I could shop for cars on Sunday….ah well, we can’t get everything.
Wait….what’s that all about?
Blue Laws. A lot of states still have ’em…weird for how liberal my area of the country is….?
crazy!