The Art Of Complaining- Part 1

I am a patient person. I believe I have started off more than one post like that. However, if you mess my food up, I will come after you. I love food, I love to eat. Hunger is painful and when I’m hungry, I cannot think of anything else other than putting food in my pie hole.

Today I lost my shit with Taco Bell. In the amount of time it took to go through the drive thru, I could have flown to Mexico, grown corn, created tortillas over an open fire pit (is that how they do it?), flown back to Ohio, drove to the local Taco Bell, filled it with beef and cheese and served it. In addition to the wait, I received lettuce on the 3 soft tacos I ordered without lettuce for my oldest and no mild sauce in the mound of hot and fire packets when I specifically asked TWICE for mild sauce. When I reached through the packets to the last item in the bag, I noticed it didn’t feel like my carefully wrapped, chicken supreme chalupa. It was too hard to be a chalupa. Instead, it was a beef hard taco. As my husband was half way through his $5 big box value meal, I searched around his stupid box then again in the bags, in case I missed it. I thought about going back and screaming at them but knew my food would be spit in. It turns out they switched his soft taco with my chalupa. My first world problem was solved, thank God.

This got me thinking this afternoon that I think I have mastered the art of complaining, knowing when to complain, when not to complain, how to complain and how far to take it.

My mother complained but her handling of complaints was on par with a 5 year old not getting your phone to play with during dinner or something else equally boring in their eyes. I once remember her screaming at our maintenance guy like Goldie Hawn to Russell Crowe in Overboard.

“You’ll never be satisfied!” He screamed at her while walking out to his blue pick up truck. Ironically it was about the way he had configured my parent’s closet. Oh well.

For shits and giggles my mom used to book a night at hotels in Columbus, about 40 minutes away from our hometown. This was a blast as we were allowed to invite a friend to come with us. On one such occasion, we had booked a suite hotel. Upon arrival and like bombing sniffing dogs, we surveyed the room for anything left by the previous tenants or something out of the ordinary. We were just kids and I have no idea what we thought we would find. That is when we found 4 Playboys under the king bed. My mother lost her shit.

“I have 4 young girls here and they found these smut magazines! What kind of operation are you running here?” She screamed into the phone. Needless to say, we got the room free.

I really don’t think I got my experience in complaining from her. Honestly I don’t know where it came from, it just flourished??? I hate that word. Regardless, please know I don’t look for opportunities to complain. I don’t want to complain as obviously that means something went wrong. Also, I take into consideration when things are out of peoples control. I’m not an ass hole.

I am however someone that believes in getting what I paid for. For the first part of this installment, I will list what was the issue and how it was resolved. The next post will be exactly how to complain.

Issue: Air conditioning stopped working in hotel room.

Complaint: We are miserable and sweating ridiculously.

Resolution: Moved to a new room with air conditioning and a free room next time.

Issue: The arrival of my Legal Zoom incorporation hasn’t arrived in the time frame I was promised.

Complaint: When Legal Zoom’s customer service reps wouldn’t take me serious, I hit up social media.

Resolution: Incorporation refunded 100%.

Issue: After only 10 months, my son’s BEATS stopped working. I had purchased them from Target on black Friday in 2015.

Complaint: These headphones were only used in his room and well taken care of. They should not stop working after 10 months. I requested a gift card for the full amount paid.

Resolution: Gift card for full amount paid. (Full disclosure: I may have thrown in my Godfather’s name who is big wig for Target)

Issue: Internet is constantly in and out, often times not working.

Complaint: Called and explained how often it happens. Requested a tech comes out and fixes.

Resolution: Discount on my bill. Internet is better but not 100%

These are just a few examples of how my issues were resolved. To let it go allows the company to continue to take advantage of the consumer. My friends are starting to consult with me on how to not necessarily complain but to get what they paid for.

Just as companies cut corners, thinking they can squeeze out just as much, if not more productivity from overworked employees, along comes social media to remind them that their discretions will be put out there for potential customers to judge. This will be a major theme of my next post. Social media has changed my way of complaining. I’m not asking for perfection, just a general respect of an unwritten agreement between companies and customers. Make sure to check out my next post. I hope it will give you tips on how to complain appropriately…oh and how to NOT get your food spit in.