I Want to Marry This Hotel

If I could marry this hotel I would. If a hotel was a spirit animal, this would be it. I love this hotel so much.

But Hot Mess, you haven’t even told us where you are!

Oh gosh, sorry! I’m in Bethesda, Maryland at the Canopy Hotel by Hilton. P has a soccer tournament here and I’ve been wanting to try to this hotel forever now.

The Sandwich Trick Strikes Again!

So as some of you may or may not know, I have an amazing trick called the sandwich trick. It’s 99.9% effective and yesterday proved to be no different. I placed a $20 bill between my husband’s credit card and driver’s license (he literally doesn’t see his credit card any weekend we are out for soccer. I only give it to him if he’s been a good boy).  Having the 20 in place, I walked up to the front desk and said the following,

“I’d like to tip you if you can find me a complimentary upgrade to a suite.”

So instead of being in this room for the weekend (about $165/night):

We were in this room (normally about $349/night) because the sandwich trick is real!

And it isn’t just the 693 square feet of living space, but the food too. For breakfast we had Quiche, fritatta, artesian cheeses and meats, pastries and French toast. I ate like a fuckin’ pig and I didn’t even care. All of this was included in the price.

Other top amenities is the filtered water station on every floor, the excellent customer service and the drink tasting from 5 to 6. This evening I tried an excellent gin which is exactly what I needed after the day I’d had.

And now, I sit on a chaise lounge, writing to you good people. My husband and oldest son are off eating with the other dads. I’m in sheer Heaven, drinking wine, listening to music and writing. I’m seriously debating on chaining myself to this room and chanting “hell no! I won’t go!” or “What do we want? Peace! How do we get it? Never go home!”

I haven’t really decided on the chant but I guess I’ll have to pick one soon! It just blows because the minute I go back home starts the laundry, house cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping…well, you get the idea!