So occasionally on every other night, I will have a few glasses of wine. After 2 I begin to get brave and e-mail/post a bit freer than sober hot mess would. Below are 2 instances that are funny now that I look back on it. Let me preface this by saying I AM NOT CRAZY.
Instance 1
Veronica Roth- Author of Divergent (Spoiler alert ahead!)
I have had a long commute now for a few years. To combat the commute I signed up for Audible.com. Audible.com is beyond awesome because it is someone reading you stories while you drive. As immature as this sounds, I love that the actor/actress portrays each character in a different voice to make the story more believable.
I started listening to Divergent by Veronica Roth. I fell in love with the Divergent series. I was rooting for Tris and Four. I darted through books 1 and 2 with ease. Couldn’t wait till book 3 to seal the deal like Katniss and Peta. Then the shit hit the fan. Veronica Roth killed off Tris. This was the first and only time I cried from reading a book.
WHAT-THE-FUCK?
I began to search for alternate endings online. I found articles like “Will Hollywood Develop a Different Ending?” or “Fans Not Happy.”
‘Some up-and-coming author has to have an alternate ending,’ I thought. And they did but they were pretty awful and didn’t satisfy my appetite. I was now officially pissed.
One night, I had the bright idea to put the following image and caption on Veronica Roth’s Facebook page:
NOT COOL VERONICA….NOT COOL!
Too young to know the movie Misery? Click here: Misery
Obviously the next morning when I realized what I had done, I took it down. I was not a psycho.
Instance 2
I fucking love 50 Shades of Grey. There I said it. I have read each book 3 times. I don’t care if people say “it was poorly written.” This isn’t Shakespeare folks. I don’t want to come out of this a smarter person.
I am a proponent that if you had a good experience somewhere, with something or with someone, you let them know. It’s a nice little treat to get positive feedback. So one night, I let E.L. James know how much I enjoyed her books. She was kind enough to respond back. Here is the e-mail:
“Hey lady?” What the hell was I thinking?
That letter was pure awesomeness! I think drunk hot mess is sassy!
Thank you! I cannot believe I even received a response back. Sure, it was probably from an intern/assistant but it was cool.
Still super cool!
You have just ruined Divergent for me…thanks! I watched the 50 shades movie on a plane which was a tad embarrassing but couldn’t get past her prose to read the books. No criticism though – I snaffle up People or US at the grocery store just to see what someone looks like without makeup.
I pray you are kidding with me on Divergent or that is going to make me feel like a real ass hole. I thought I put “spoiler alert” next to the heading. If I forgot to, I will add it.
You love AUDIO BOOKS???!!! I thought I was the only one in the world who liked audio books! No one I know in real life likes audio books … they all look at me like I’m some freaky weirdo.
Never read the Shades of Grey books, but saw the movie and had such low expectations going in, that I actually really liked the movie. I’m sure the audio book was better! 😉
I didn’t even finish Grey. I was frustrated as it was basically a reincarnation of her existing book. I’m sure some folks love the back stories but I just want to throw myself on the ground in an adult temper tantrum yelling “we’ve done this already!”
Yes, I do love audio books. A lot of people say to me, “That is just weird. I don’t want someone reading me a story.” I respond with “What? Do you think Mr. Rogers is knocking at my door with a book in his hand, ready to tuck me in and tell me a story? Amazon bought the company for 300 million in 98′, obviously it’s not weird.” I suggest Chelsea Handler’s 3 most recent books. I never found her funny on her show but her books are laugh till you cry material.
Listened to the “Dear Vodka, it’s Me Chelsea” (or something like that) audio CD a couple years ago. Loved it. Just finished the 4 shows on Netflix w/ Chelsea — liked those too.
The thing about audio books for me is THE READER. If the reader is boring, pretentious or goes too-gawd-damn fast, then I can’t finish listening.
I’m sure you’ll get that being another audiophile. Nice to meet you fellow book listener! And no, we aren’t weird!
Oh God, the chapter “Regift” is my favorite. I’ve listened to that at least 4 times.
PS: “Hey Lady” is funny! 😉
… but maybe you should have capitalized the “L” in lady though … just a grammar thought.
I was lucky to spell my name properly that night. 🙂