Has anyone figured out the exact percentage of time we need to spend with our children so they don’t become murderers and what percentage of time we need to have “alone time” so they don’t live with us when they are 35? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, me neither.
As a happy medium, I like to play games with my boys. That of course backfires when they choose a soul sucking game like Battleship or Settlers of Catan. I have decided to list games I absolutely cannot stand and why.
There is one caveat to this list, each of us is allowed 1 game that everyone else cannot stand but is a personal favorite. Yes I’m bending the rules but this is my post and I can do what I want so na-na-na-bu-bu……
Battle Ship
Unless your a fairy or a smurf, good luck successfully putting these pin things into the ships
Jesus, this game drives me crazy, absolutely batty. I’m sure a lot of it is because I don’t truly understand all the directions but the futile act of having to put those stupid little ships in the peg boards only to have them fall down into the holder is annoying. I feel like you have to be psychic or something just to figure out where to sink the battle ship. Of course my children love, love, love the game however it has mysteriously disappeared. Hmmm…..
Shoots and Ladders
This f’ing game will end in a meltdown no matter what and surprisingly it’s not my meltdown. This usually happens when in the 34th minute of the game, your child lands on the 87th tile. The 87th tile is the on ramp to a large shoot that causes the player to go all the way back down to tile 24 thus having to almost start all over again. This is why I like to call this the purgatory game, because just when you think it’s over, BOOM, someone lands on that tile having to almost start all over again.
On the flip side, you as the parent land on tile 28, taking you alllll the way up to tile 84. Just 16 more spots to go and you are now the most hated parent on Earth.
Twister
Ha..ha…ha…we are so happy and drunk and can’t wait for IPADS and video games.
I get that this game is now 50 years old so it’s obviously successful but COME ON. There should be a strict rule that no one over the age of 30 can play unless drunk. When I sign up for game time, I am in no way signing up for yoga, I can’t stress this enough. When you are required to put your left hand on the green circle while your left foot is to be on the red, you usually end up with a lower back injury. And someone always farts during this game. Between the fart and the sweaty plastic, you feel like your back at the YMCA taking gymnastic classes that will amount to absolutely nothing.
Settlers of Catan
I don’t know if the parent was high when they purchased this game for my son’s birthday but it is the definition of soul sucking. If you’ve never played Settlers of Catan, let me put it in perspective for you. The manual is 8″ x 10″ and is 15 pages long…..in English…..both sides of the pages covered in directions.
“But it’s award winning hot mess.”
NO, that is the biggest scam on the planet. Any game that is award winning is usually awful. Kind of like the academy awards. If a movie has won an award, it’s probably going to be either depressing or boring movie, i.e. The English Patient.
So you know how I mentioned we get 1 game that we get to love even if most of humanity hates it? Mine is Monopoly. Wait, wait….don’t unfollow me yet. You get to pick one too! What is the game you love to play but everyone else despises?
I,don’t think I have ever laughed so much as reading this.
GOOD! That is what I want! Sounds like you may be able to relate?
Been there done that. In fact, I played battleship last weekend.
Hissss…..I’m sorry to hear that…unless Battleship is like my Monopoly.
My kid wanted to play…I obliged.
And we don’t judge here….I understand.
Lol thanks!
I’ve actually never heard of the Settlers of Catan – that game just LOOKS soul-sucking! My hated board game is definitely Risk. Worst game ever.
I’ve never played risk. I’ve heard of it but know nothing about it. You know what they need to create? A kid’s version of Cards against humanity.
There is a card game that is similar to Cards against humanity but is child appropriate: “Apples to Apples” 🙂
I’ve heard of it but something tells me that these cards would not produce the same effects as pulling 2 cards that read “Stephen Hawking talking dirty.”
No they most certainly would not! haha
That’s brilliant! I can’t believe someone hasn’t already thought of that!
I like to play Yahtzee,but my husband refuses to play it anymore. He had his best all time score ever. But my daughter, who was 4 years old at the time beat his score. He kicked the sofa with his barefoot and bruised his big toe. Nope, he never played again.
Did you not laugh your ass off when he did it though? Oh my God! That is hilarious!
Yes, I laughed on the inside. 🙂
I have to agree with Amanda, I hate risk!! I have a love/hate relationship with settlers of catan. I’ve never read the instructions since my brother already knew how to play when he taught me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE monopoly (as long as I’m not playing with my mother) and also scrabble. I know that’s really boring, but I love it! hehe The only problem with living in Korea is that the Facebook scrabble app doesn’t work here, so my bff and I can’t play online anymore 🙁
I forget what scrabble is. I know a lot of people play it. Yeah! If we ever meet in person I challenge you to a game of Monopoly. I have Traditional Monopoly, Monopoly Millionaire , Monopoly Junior and another one I forget. Pick your poison!
It’s a word game lol where you have tiles of letters and you try to get the most number of points? The app on my ipad works here just not the facebook extension of it, so I’ve started playing with my students hehe
and challenge excepted! I also have cat-in-the-hat-opoly that we can add to the mix 🙂
I need to play Twister drunk now. Can’t believe I never have!
It’s awesome as long as A. you aren’t playing with children and B. a heavy adult isn’t at risk of falling on your hand and/or foot.