Family · Getting to Know You · Kids · Parenting · Summer

No, Not Right Now

We had new neighbors move in caddy corner from us about 2 months ago. I’ve been an ass hole because I haven’t taken the time to go over and meet them. I thought about baking them something but then I’m like, I want them to like us. I thought about taking an orchid over but… Continue reading No, Not Right Now

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Kids · Parenting · Summer

When Do These A$$ Holes Go Back to School?

Ok, obviously I don’t think my children are ass holes. I love them more than life itself. If anything, I use ass holes as a term of endearment. All I’m saying is I cherish my evenings, to do as I wish which let’s be real, is blogging. This whole not going to school thing is… Continue reading When Do These A$$ Holes Go Back to School?

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Texting Abbreviations

Ok, perhaps because I’m 41, I don’t know all of the texting abbreviations. Because I love to write (and again, maybe it’s my age), you should see my texts. I pride myself on my use of uppercase letters, punctuation and spelling. Now granted, when I drive and talk my text, they do come out a… Continue reading Texting Abbreviations

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Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting

Father’s Day Gift Ideas For Crappy Fathers

Allow me to be clear, my father was not a dead beat dad. He worked 70 hours a week. This post is for all the people with shitty-ass fathers or meh dads where getting them a Father’s day gift is about as high on your list as having your tonsils removed. So gentle readers, I’ve… Continue reading Father’s Day Gift Ideas For Crappy Fathers

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Getting to Know You · Health · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness

How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating

How much does poor communication cause issues in your life? Can you count on one hand or need 500 hands to count the number of times you’ve waited and waited for an answer, only to never get it or get what you deem the wrong one? How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating Don’t… Continue reading How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating

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First World Problems · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Summer

Do People Live in Florida?

My oldest had me laughing on one of our first days in Florida at the supermarket. He’s like, “let’s be real, does anyone really live in Florida all year?” “No, I don’t think so.” It’s so f’ing hot here! I mean, my God how do people survive in any other month other than December in… Continue reading Do People Live in Florida?

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Summer

5 Ways to be a Decent Human Being When Sharing a Vacation House

We are currently sharing a house with our friends and their 2 sons who are both under the age of 10. I honestly believe you need to understand how a family lives before spending an entire week under the same roof. We hit the jack pot with regards to a great family to share a… Continue reading 5 Ways to be a Decent Human Being When Sharing a Vacation House

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Kids · Parenting · Summer

Florida, Just Like Jurassic Park

As I sit in our vacation home, someone already had Say Yes to the Dress on the tv. I promised myself I wouldn’t watch shit like this but it’s sucking me in. How does one buy a dress for $8,000? My dress was from a Lazarus department store’s wedding shop that was going out of… Continue reading Florida, Just Like Jurassic Park

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture · Summer

Youtube, Florida and Packing

Lame-ass title, I know. I just didn’t know what else to name it. I really wanted to entitle it: Some Miscellaneous but that would get me zero hits via Google so I named it Youtube, Florida and Packing. So my family and I leave for Florida tomorrow. Instead of getting a hotel, my friend was… Continue reading Youtube, Florida and Packing

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Customer Service · Family · First World Problems · Kids · Soccer

I Want to Marry This Hotel

If I could marry this hotel I would. If a hotel was a spirit animal, this would be it. I love this hotel so much. But Hot Mess, you haven’t even told us where you are! Oh gosh, sorry! I’m in Bethesda, Maryland at the Canopy Hotel by Hilton. P has a soccer tournament here… Continue reading I Want to Marry This Hotel

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