I love food. As I type this, I’ve broken into the Keebler cookies and currently polishing off 5 mini ones. For dinner tonight, I cooked a chicken in an apple cider sauce that had more butter than one would use to get a reality star out of their bedroom on My 600 Pound Life. Based on the writing prompt from 400 Writing Prompts, I decided to write about what I crave and how often.
What Do I Crave?
Steak. ALL.THE.TIME. And it can’t be that burnt shit at Ponderosa but medium-rare. I’ve sent steak back before because it was too well-done. Rarely (see what I did there?) have I sent a steak back because it’s too red.
And it’s not just steak, I love beef carpaccio. If you’ve never had it, it resembles extremely thin lunch meat that’s normally topped with a spring mix and drizzled with a dressing. For a week, I spent combing various deli counters, asking for it. After all, it was lunch meat and I could find it there, right?
I couldn’t find it because it’s raw meat. Yes people, it’s raw. Apparently, there’s some sort of long, drawn-out process to get the meat as thin as it is as well as probably kill the bacteria. Side note, once at a former employer, a co-worker’s wife had just had a baby and to the team, he described his wife’s vagina as on par with beef carpaccio. #classy
I’m sure this compassion is not welcomed but vegetarians, I feel super sorry for you. I’m sorry you can’t sit down to a steak that was marinated overnight or cooked in butter and nestled next to a baked potato or mashed potatoes. Also, I’m sorry you can’t enjoy the food coma I place myself in after a special meal at a steak house. And though I’ve tried Burger King’s Impossible Whopper and it’s pretty good, nothing replaces pure, delicious meat.
Runner Up Craves
My runner up craves include the following:
Pizza: I once out ate a large football player in high school. Being brought up in an Italian restaurant, like the hot dog contest eaters, I had prepped my stomach all my life for a challenge such as this. He tapped out at 5, I tapped out at 7.
Mashed Potatoes: How can you deny mashed potatoes? My sons refuse to eat mashed potatoes and sometimes I question whether or not they are my children. I think my husband fooled me into thinking I’m their mother when they don’t eat it.
Creme Brulee: This is rare so I think that’s half the appeal. Unfortunately, creme brulee comes after the inhalation of steak so I usually can’t finish it.
Now it’s your turn! What’s your favorite food? What do you crave?
Definitely pizza. Specifically, the kind I make at home. I just wish there was a way for me to have that pizza without having to do all the work myself.
Yeah, it’s not worth it when you’re stuck doing all the work on your own!