I love listening to Matt Bellassai’s Unhappy Hour podcast. He begins each episode with several crazy news stories that always involve a Florida man. I can’t remember if it was on his podcast or somewhere else but I learned that the majority of the crazy stories come from Florida because the police records are more open than other states. So who knows, perhaps North Dakota is even more bat shit crazy but thanks to laws, they get to keep that shit hidden under the rug.
That being said, Matt mentioned the Florida Man Challenge that is out there. I Googled it and it’s actually a thing! You Google Florida man then enter your birthday. So for me it would be Florida Man December 28. And what did I get? I got a 2-fer! Not only did I get a headline but a video and it’s pretty damn funny!
These #clumsy thieves stole a 43" Vizio TV from a #Davie @Walmart on Dec 16th and fled on a scooter. They didn't plan their getaway to well and almost crashed! If you recognize them, give us a call 954-693-8200 or @crimestoppers2 954-493-TIPS. #clumsythief #DaviePolice pic.twitter.com/Z1umFsMZjF
— Davie Police Dept. (@DaviePolice) December 26, 2018
Obviously we haven’t learned that 911 isn’t the maitre’d.
Here’s my youngest son’s Florida man story:
Now please note that it was the adult man on a tricycle, not the children.
And now my oldest son’s birthday. The men of Florida were uncharacteristically quiet for his birthday so this headline is from 4 days before:
He probably calls his mom “mother” and super creepy and stuff.
So now it’s your turn! Google FLORIDA MAN and your birthday and post what the headline was for your birthday! I can’t wait to read what your Florida man did! Who’s your Florida spirit animal?