4 Pets I Wish I Could Have


After Chichi died this spring (God rest her fur ball soul), I haven’t thought about getting another dog. Yet every week someone asks me, “have you thought about getting another dog?” I don’t have to think about it as the answer is a BIG FAT NO. And if I or any family member gets the itch to have another dog, I’ll simply rent my sister’s dog for a week. This dog has energy as if it had been up all night, snorting cocaine.

But I digress, below are 4 animals that I base this list solely on their cuteness. I know they would be a pain in the ass and hell, I don’t even know if they’re legal in the state of Ohio.


I just want to teach the parrot to talk. I think it would be hilarious for a pet to mimic tourettes and call out “ass hole” or “shit my pants”. As a young girl, we had parakeets and they were kinda’ a bummer. We couldn’t walk it or teach it tricks. Just watch it shit on a piece of sand paper we didn’t change out enough.



Look at this lil’ fella! How can you resist his ears. Huge ears on humans is gross to me but put them on a cute fur ball such as this and I’m there!


Teacup Pig

And I would absolutely throw a tu-tu on my pig too. I mean look at this thing?! And to me, aside from the grotesque, huge pigs that could eat you, pigs always look like they are smiling.

teacup pig

Finger Monkey

I’ll be honest, I had no idea this was a thing till my co-worker told me about them last week. I nearly fell off my chair because of the cuteness. I read up on these cuties and found out though that their life expectancy is cut drastically when domesticated as these are social animals and do better among friends. The $1,000-$5,000 price tag is also a deterrent.
finger monkey

So are any of you going to go out and get one of these? Maybe you have one now?


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