Full disclosure, I had no idea that sloths were known for moving super slow. It took the Geico commercial (from this year) for me to realize this.
Today, my work had a family fun day on site and had the zoo animals come visit us.
“They better not bring a snake,” I said about 10 times to 10 different people. “I will sit in my car for the hour the animals are here if so. Why do they even bring stupid snakes? They’re not cute. You can’t cuddle with them.”
To my delight, no stupid snakes. At first, 2 animals came out: a baby snow leopard and the rare and mysterious golden labrador. I was extremely confused as to why the zoo brought a domesticated animal for us to marvel over. Apparently the lab is to keep this spunky little guy on the left calm. At just 10 weeks old, it already needs a calming animal. Can you imagine in a year?
For the first 20 minutes, I called the snow leopard one of the following at least once: cheetah, puma, lion and tiger. Look, I don’t live in Africa. I have no idea what is what. I’ve never been to Disney’s Animal Kingdom. When I saw the labrador I’m like, “boom, I got this, it’s a golden labrador.” When the snow leopard popped out, I’m like, “chi….pu…..ti…..I don’t know. It’s cute. I do know that.”
Parker, my 13-year-old was hell-bent on holding the snow leopard. Later I would learn it was growling at him and he didn’t know what to do. I would have done the exact same thing I do when a baby begins to cry in my arms, give it back to its mom.
After the snow leopard and lab, one of the zoo handlers brought out this very high bar. Kind of like one of those gymnastic bars you see in the olympics but more narrow. The following things went through my head:
- That’s for a fucking snake. They’re gonna bring a garganteous snake here and it’s going to curl around that thing.
- Mary Lou Retton is gonna come out here and perform for us.
- Oh my God! A baboon! They’re bringing out a baboon. I love baboons! I can’t wait to see it swing!
None of the above occurred. Instead, a sloth was brought out and placed on the top bar. In true sloth fashion and being as boring as they are, it quickly removed itself from the top bar and climbed to a more “practical” position here:
Now, I know my caption reads “boring as f***” but the sloth was really cool. Like a graceful ice skater (do I need to watch the Olympics or something? A lot of Olympic references here), it moves it head back and forth, back and forth. It seems to be grinning and just lovin’ life!
Just when we thought it was just going to be a snow leopard, lab and sloth, they bring out this little cutie-pa-tutie! A penguin!!! I’ve never seen a penguin this close before. Carter reached over and pet it just in time as 10 seconds later it left a trail of shit on the plastic table-cloth.
All in all, a good day! We got to see 3 animals I’d never seen before up close. Have you ever seen any of these animals up close? Here is one more picture of the sloth.