Preparations for Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Today has been a busy day to say the least. I questioned if I preferred to clean like a mad woman before leaving for L.A. since none of us except my husband would be here all week or deal with it when I get back. I chose to clean today and for 3 hours, and that’s exactly what I did.

Next, I wanted to make sure all the laundry was done. Feeding the mean machine, is what I call back to back to back loads of laundry. After piling 6 baskets of laundry, I turned on a new Netflix show called Wild, Wild Country and began to fold. An hour and 20 minutes later, every garment, towel and linen is clean up in this house.

For this cleaning, I didn’t ask the fam to do any cleaning except for their bedrooms. I simply sent my husband off with the boys to Crap Clips to get a hair cut and I was off. When they returned, my youngest was annoyed that I sent him upstairs while I cleaned the downstairs. He showed even more disdain when I commanded him to go back downstairs while I changed his bunk bed and cleaned the upstairs.

“Up then down. Up and down. This is so annoying.” He whined.

“Oh I’m sorry. God forbid you have to go to a different level of the house while I clean. Tell ya’ what. Why don’t you clean the bathrooms up here then you can stay up here.”

He rolled his eyes and begrudgingly went downstairs. This kid was really pissing me off. A few hours later when he was back up in his room, he shot me a death look when I brought him an entire basket of his clothes clean and folded.

“I have to put away all that?” He squealed.

“Why do you think I want to instituted naked day? You think I like folding clothes? I freakin’ hate it.” I said, annoyed at his annoyance.

Permanent Wal-Mart Baby Mustache

You know how you go into Wal-Mart and there’s always that 1 Wal-Mart baby who’s half-dressed, screaming bloody murder and they always seem to have a permanent Kool-Aid stash? Well for the past week, my 9-year-old has licked his lips so much, that he now has this rash above his lips, making him look like he has a Kool-Aid mustache. So I took him to the Minute Clinic at CVS where the Nurse practitioner prescribed an ant-fungal medication.

“It’s the exact same cream the Pharmacist assured me,” when they called to say they were out of the anti-fungal cream.

The exact same cream they were referring to was Monistat-7. Yes, I had to choose whether to put yeast infection cream above my son’s lip.

When I went to pick up the cream (and I did the drive-thru as I didn’t want anyone thinking this medicine was for me), I couldn’t resist being ornery. When the young girl came to the drive-thru window I stated in complete seriousness,

“Hi! I’m here to pick up my son’s vaginal cream.”

She looked at me as if I said “hi! I’m here to pick-up crack coccaine.

Don’t believe me? Here’s his medicine.

monistat 7

Business Cards

“Treat your blog like your business,” someone said. I don’t know who but I’ve read this several times. Ok fine. I’m going to Hollywood where I’m sure they’re always in need of content, stories, etc. Fuck it, I’m getting business cards. Now, what I want and what I can get at Staples same day, are 2 completely different things. I just wanted something in case a rare opportunity presented itself.

In order to get cards same day, I needed to have my order in by 2 p.m. It was 1:39. I quickly logged into Staples and took the first card I found acceptable. When I picked it up, the graphics made the name plate seem crooked. We even measured it and it’s perfectly straight:

business card

The print manager made me question my choice horribly as she was like the Jewish mother I never had.

“Your not going to hand those out to people, are you?”

There was only one way to respond to her blunt question.

“Well what else am I gonna do with’ em?”

She threw her hands up in the air, indicating she gave up on me and said, “well I couldn’t look at that. Sherri can check you out over there.” And she walked away.

Look, I know it’s not great but all the info one needs is on the back so whatever.

Anyway, that’s where we are in preparations. I’m now enjoying a well deserved glass of Cabernet and typing this while everyone watches soccer.

P.S. I’ve been nominated for funniest blog for the Annual Bloggers Bash and so excited! If you get a chuckle from my blog, I would be honored for you to make just 2 clicks and vote for me! You can access the poll here: Sasha Black


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