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Preparations for Los Angeles

Today has been a busy day to say the least. I questioned if I preferred to clean like a mad woman before leaving for L.A. since none of us except my husband would be here all week or deal with it when I get back. I chose to clean today and for 3 hours, and that’s exactly what I did.

Next, I wanted to make sure all the laundry was done. Feeding the mean machine, is what I call back to back to back loads of laundry. After piling 6 baskets of laundry, I turned on a new Netflix show called Wild, Wild Country and began to fold. An hour and 20 minutes later, every garment, towel and linen is clean up in this house.

For this cleaning, I didn’t ask the fam to do any cleaning except for their bedrooms. I simply sent my husband off with the boys to Crap Clips to get a hair cut and I was off. When they returned, my youngest was annoyed that I sent him upstairs while I cleaned the downstairs. He showed even more disdain when I commanded him to go back downstairs while I changed his bunk bed and cleaned the upstairs.

“Up then down. Up and down. This is so annoying.” He whined.

“Oh I’m sorry. God forbid you have to go to a different level of the house while I clean. Tell ya’ what. Why don’t you clean the bathrooms up here then you can stay up here.”

He rolled his eyes and begrudgingly went downstairs. This kid was really pissing me off. A few hours later when he was back up in his room, he shot me a death look when I brought him an entire basket of his clothes clean and folded.

“I have to put away all that?” He squealed.

“Why do you think I want to instituted naked day? You think I like folding clothes? I freakin’ hate it.” I said, annoyed at his annoyance.

Permanent Wal-Mart Baby Mustache

You know how you go into Wal-Mart and there’s always that 1 Wal-Mart baby who’s half-dressed, screaming bloody murder and they always seem to have a permanent Kool-Aid stash? Well for the past week, my 9-year-old has licked his lips so much, that he now has this rash above his lips, making him look like he has a Kool-Aid mustache. So I took him to the Minute Clinic at CVS where the Nurse practitioner prescribed an ant-fungal medication.

“It’s the exact same cream the Pharmacist assured me,” when they called to say they were out of the anti-fungal cream.

The exact same cream they were referring to was Monistat-7. Yes, I had to choose whether to put yeast infection cream above my son’s lip.

When I went to pick up the cream (and I did the drive-thru as I didn’t want anyone thinking this medicine was for me), I couldn’t resist being ornery. When the young girl came to the drive-thru window I stated in complete seriousness,

“Hi! I’m here to pick up my son’s vaginal cream.”

She looked at me as if I said “hi! I’m here to pick-up crack coccaine.

Don’t believe me? Here’s his medicine.

monistat 7

Business Cards

“Treat your blog like your business,” someone said. I don’t know who but I’ve read this several times. Ok fine. I’m going to Hollywood where I’m sure they’re always in need of content, stories, etc. Fuck it, I’m getting business cards. Now, what I want and what I can get at Staples same day, are 2 completely different things. I just wanted something in case a rare opportunity presented itself.

In order to get cards same day, I needed to have my order in by 2 p.m. It was 1:39. I quickly logged into Staples and took the first card I found acceptable. When I picked it up, the graphics made the name plate seem crooked. We even measured it and it’s perfectly straight:

business card

The print manager made me question my choice horribly as she was like the Jewish mother I never had.

“Your not going to hand those out to people, are you?”

There was only one way to respond to her blunt question.

“Well what else am I gonna do with’ em?”

She threw her hands up in the air, indicating she gave up on me and said, “well I couldn’t look at that. Sherri can check you out over there.” And she walked away.

Look, I know it’s not great but all the info one needs is on the back so whatever.

Anyway, that’s where we are in preparations. I’m now enjoying a well deserved glass of Cabernet and typing this while everyone watches soccer.

P.S. I’ve been nominated for funniest blog for the Annual Bloggers Bash and so excited! If you get a chuckle from my blog, I would be honored for you to make just 2 clicks and vote for me! You can access the poll here: Sasha Black

Hot Mess is social! Click and follow!

27 thoughts on “Preparations for Los Angeles

    1. Well, now that C has been using his vaginal cream (tee-hee-hee), the redness has gone down by like 50% this morning! It looks great!

  1. I totally like your business card, so boo hiss to that rude assistant who obviously doesn’t have your drive, your swag and your vision.
    And huge congratulations on your well-deserved award nomination, so exciting right now! Xx

    1. Thank you Em! I do appreciate it! I think it looks pretty great for my 18 minute deadline I had. And a huge congratulations to you too! You deserve it!!!

  2. Nice cards! I love the design personally. Also your prep for Hollywood has exhausted me. Would you mind, popping over here and cleaning my house for me 😆 Oh but your son. I’m not looking forward to my daughter being that age and being the same. I did read an article the other day about how hormones make tweens & teenagers more selfish. It’s an important part of their brain development apparently. Doesn’t make it any less annoying though!

    1. My 13-year-old told me this morning to chill out. I turned around and in a voice I almost didn’t recognize said, “Watch your mouth son. That’s extremely disrespectful.” And now today, I was up at 4 in an effort to be the first to check in online since that dictates your boarding position on Southwest. Since I was up, I decided to grocery shop. So basically by 8:30 I had checked in, printed off passes, grocery shopped, put it away…oh…and participated in the Sunday Blog share. I’m functioning ONLY on adrenaline and Red Bull right now. I’m going to bed at 6 this evening.

  3. I am now getting excited about your trip to LA!! Love the business cards. I got some Bloggy Business cards too and hand them out to anyone who happens to be in a 100 yards of me 🙂 Safe trip and keep us up to date with LaLa Land Jx

    1. You know what? Thank you! The more I read these supportive comments, the more I want to tell that woman to stick it. For $14.99 and 18 minutes to design, they aren’t bad. Now my next ones will be infused with baby laughter but I’ll be ok with waiting on them.

  4. My youngest is doing that with her lips too! But it just leads to chapped lips – thankfully putting Vaseline on it fixes it right up! And what is this “he has to put away his own laundry” business? How does one start that…what does it look like…why am I putting away everyone’s clothes?

    I’ve considered getting business cards for my blog, but I wouldn’t be able to put my real name on them haha

    1. It started out with chapped lips then moved to his skin. I think the germs got in and took hold. Just get vagisil! LOL! No don’t do that, may be a different PH balance. IDK. As for the clothes, if you fold them and bring them to their room, there is no reason on Earth they can’t put them away. What pisses me off is when he just shoves the nicely folded clothing into drawers unorganized. So underwear is with sweatshirts and socks, etc. You should get some cards! It was super cheap! $15 for 250. Do it! No need to put your real name on it! Especially at that price!

      1. Haha I tried letting them put them away…it was too frustrating because the drawers were a solid mess and then I’d be asked to straighten them up. Having to refold every single piece of clothing….but the oldest does her own. 2nd will come September which she is fighting but I’ve made up my mind haha

        And I just might get some!

        1. If you do, text me a picture! No, I totally get the whole messy drawer thing. It infuriates me when I’ve spent over an hour folding, only to find it crameed in drawers. Grrhhhh!!!

  5. Ha! I am so impressed that you cleaned the whole house yourself. I would for sure have been annoyed if I did all that work and my kid rolled his eyes at the ONE THING I ASKED HIM TO DO. So, perfectly justified there. I love your business cards, they look excellent. I’ve thought of doing similar things but haven’t prioritized it yet. Good for you! And I am certain you’ll do well in the ABBA (I love that ABBA is the acronym for Annual Bloggers Bash Awards, don’t you?).

  6. I think you are familiar with my militant ideologies about kid chores so I am so happy you give him his own laundry to put away, I totally would have made all them fold it (while watching a movie or something together to make sure they don’t just shove it in random drawers in bundles.) or clean the bathrooms. Or both. I actually really get irritated when capable people don’t have responsibikities. I often put swiffer slippers on my cats and they run around completely unawre that they are cleaning up after themselves. It’s delightful!

    1. Wait a minute….did you say you put swiffer slippers on your cats? That is HILARIOUS! i didn’t even know thats a thing! OMG!!! I’m slowly giving the older one more things to do and I’m trying to teach him cooking skills at least one a week. You sound like you have a very good process though, that’s for sure!

      1. Hey I don’t have a degree in sewing to pay my bills. (Actually that was the point but I somehow ended up managing a totally different line of products in industrial work. Who knew. )

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