I have become part of a WONDERFUL group via Facebook called Big Up Your Blog. The moderators are amazing, organized, supportive and most of all, patient. I’ve even met several new friends and have even had an interesting education on slang in England.
So today (and yesterday too), I noticed I was receiving referral traffic from Sasha Black. So I clicked to see why. I scrolled down and sure as shit, I’ve been nominated for funniest blog! I couldn’t believe it! Perhaps the most crass blog or the most posts written under the influence, but funniest? IT MADE MY DAY! If you feel I’m worthy of this award, I would be honored if you would vote for me here! Who ever nominated this Hot Mess, please step forward so I can thank you!!
I was so happy about the nomination I decided to compile a list of shit that could have happened to me today and I wouldn’t have cared because I was nominated for funniest blog. Here’s the list in no particular order….
- A throat punch.
- Totaling my car (this would be a blessing as it has over 260,000 miles on it and is over 15 years old).
- The cortisone shot I wrote about in my last post.
- Yelled at by anyone, especially over the age of 80.
- Spilled coffee all over my “motherhood is being a tiny person’s snack bitch” t-shirt.
- The nice gay nurse practitioner at CVS’s Minute Clinic insulting my lack of eyebrow knowledge as his were the mostly beautifully shaped and penciled-in that I had ever seen.
- A colonoscopy….ok, that is where I would have to draw the line. Nothing on Earth will ever enhance that procedure.
There are some HILARIOUS….I MEAN HILARIOUS nominees in this category. If they win, they absolutely deserve it. If by a miracle I do win, I’ve decided I will buy the most obnoxious 80’s prom dress I can find as well as a tiara, to celebrate the occasion. Oh trust me, they’re will be pictures friends. Hell, I may even have the 12-year-old neighbor girl do my hair and make-up. Sure, I’ll look like a resident of a Western European brothel, but we’ll get a good laugh out of it. I love dressing ridiculous. Here are a few of my finer moments…..
P.S. Would a wrist corsage be too much?