When did March Madness become something of an American holiday? When I tell people not only do I not want to fill out basketball brackets but I won’t be watching March Madness either;they respond as if I just said I won’t be putting a Christmas tree up this year.
I don’t like sports. We’ve been over this a million times. I only like soccer and even then I have a hard time sitting still at professional games. For basketball, I don’t know which teams have a chance to win nor care. So why would I even attempt to put together a bracket? To drive home the point, I’d like to explain to you what goes through my head during this “special time” of year and why it’s best I keep the $5 in my pocket instead of an office pool.
10 Reasons I Should Never Fill Out a Bracket
- When I hear Villa Nova, I think of a nearby Italian restaurant. Mmm…..lasagna.
- I think the Elite 8 is a new Marvels Comic series. And clearly Justin Timberlake should lead the group.
- Why can’t the Harlem Globe Trotters participate in March Madness? I’d watch that.
- Like a work assignment, I just asked my husband when my bracket is “due”. I see no pleasure in filling it out.
- Sweet 16? I already had that birthday 25 years ago and it involved toilet papering every single house on the street.
- What’s this Cinderella story thing? Will Lebron be wearing a glass slipper? No, I don’t think so and if there isn’t fashion involved…..
- The final four sounds like something I’d hear on a reality show.
- What’s a bracketology? It sounds like a drink. Actually a really delicious drink, in a martini glass.
- When I hear Purdue, I think raw chicken. You know, the 4-pack you get at the grocery store.
- And the #1 reason I don’t want to fill out brackets: I don’t want to put in $5 dollars. I might as well throw the $5 in a fire pit because I’m not going to win anyway. I’m just essentially donating money to people whose odds are better than mine.
Perhaps you remember my bracket last year? I Don’t Want to Do March Madness, K? If you don’t want to read the post, I present to you:
Hot Mess’s March Madness Bracket
Will you be filling out a March madness bracket this year? If so, will you fill mine out too?