You know when you think something is a really good idea but once you are in the good idea, you’re like ‘why the hell did I think this was a good idea?’ I’ll give you a few examples of events that are a good idea before you actually experience them:
- A family reunion
- A symphony
- An exercise class
- Hosting a party
- Children’s sleep over
Both my 9-year-old and 12-year-old waited by the window,foaming from the mouth for their friends to arrive. When a pick-up truck rolled into the driveway, they jumped up and bolted out the door like a freed labrador. It was K, the 12-year-old’s friend. 5 minutes later the younger one, CH, arrives.
All four kids are in the front room playing Call of Duty, simultaneously screaming at each other for offenses. All screaming stopped though when I heard K, ask the following question:
“Do you ever just stop shooting people and start dancing in front of them? Sometimes they don’t shoot me then.”
This is all I heard……
We had pizza the night before (I actually had it for lunch and dinner. What do you expect? It was National Pizza Day) so that was not an option. I decided to pick-up Bob Evans. For all my non-U.S. friends, Bob Evans is an inexpensive, sit-down restaurant that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s home cooking like turkey, meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It’s pretty good. For just $21 and the use of a coupon, I was able to get the following:
- 2 Turkey Lurkeys + 2 drinks
- 1 Little Piggy Pancakes + drink
- 1 Chicken Tenders + drink
- 1 Soup and Salad
I sat at the kitchen table attempting to blog while Nerf bullets sprayed past me and from all directions. It’s like I had a mom shield because for once I didn’t get hit. The indoor basketball game was another story as the indoor hoop is just 5′ away from the table. I began to make bedroom eyes to the wine because we still had a lot of night to cover.
“Oh, sorry mom.” C said as a ball missed my water and hit my head. At the same time, Chi Chi scrambled her 106-year-old Chihuahua body out of her bed before a ball would send her to her maker.
‘Good save girl. You still got it,’ I thought.
Fuck it, I’m drinking wine. It’s wine-thirty in the hot mess household. Despite cleaning for 2 hours earlier that day, my house looked like the scene from Hangover, the next morning.
Nerf guns and bullets were everywhere. A Doritos bag laid on the island along with several Starburst wrappers. I should note the trash can sits right up against the island and with just a mere swipe of the hand, the savage that left this, could have removed it.
At some point, someone must have stripped as there was a complete outfit laying on one of the kitchen chairs. Wet boots, gloves and coats also laid on the rug in front of the sliding door to the patio.
P attempted to play Call of Duty. His friend had gone home as P had what I think was food poisoning. Now he felt a little better. C was in the living room (it’s like a great room set up but it’s not so great) with his friend CH starting a movie when P marched in.
“Your watching that stupid movie again?” He accused his brother. “Mom, our internet is so bad. If he’s streaming that movie, I can’t play COD (apparently the video game has a fish nickname).”
“Well they want to watch a movie and I told them they could.”
“But he’s seen it three times,” he argued.
This was true. C was on his 3rd viewing of the Emoji Movie within just 72 hours. I could see how he enjoyed it though because the movie is so damn funny. There are a TON of celebrity voices too including T. J. Miller, Sofia Vergara, James Corden, Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph and Sean Hayes. Even if you don’t have kids, check it out because it’s entertaining!
Growing more frustrated with P’s whining and me, me, me philosophy, I said in the typical mom is growing more pissed at you so you better stop talking and walk away voice, “this is your brother’s overnight and he is going to watch the movie. I’m sorry our internet sucks but your just gonna have to deal with it.”
He huffed, rolled his eyes and left the room.
After saying a silent prayer to God, Jesus and any other deity that would listen, my prayer was answered. They were asleep by 10:01! I had done it! I made it through another overnight. Sure, they would be up having a Nerf war at 7 AM the next day but at least the hours between 10:01 and 7 were mine.
P.S. My sons leave for Florida this Wednesday. For 5 days, my husband and I aren’t going to have children (I just giggled a little as I read that). What do my childless readers do with that much free time? What should we do? I am going to miss them though…..